The Scientific Quarterly

MY FAVOURITE BIRD IS A SMALL-MOUTHED SALAMANDER

By Carrie Schwarz

It is early on a rainy March morning. My daughter, Klara, and I stand together – holding hands in the midst of a circle of people we do not know. Rain drips off the tip of her nose and she catches it with her tongue as she waits for the formalities to end and the fun to begin. The formalities in this case consist of everybody in the circle introducing themselves, but for a six year old ready to romp in the woods this small act might as well be measured on a geologic time scale rather than passing minutes. It is our first morning out with the local Audubon Society. I should preface this by saying that Klara is excited about birds and being relatively new to the Midwest we thought this would be a great way to learn more about the birds inhabiting our new location.

And learn a lot we sure did! Once the introductions wrapped up and we made our way quietly (yes, even the wide eyed six year old!) out on the birdwalk the surrounding skies, trees, and ground revealed their hidden secrets to us. The veteran birders in the group were incredibly helpful to both of us – had this been one of our normal family outings we would have missed so many unexpected gems – such as the pair of cooper’s hawks nesting on a snag. Temporary residents, ruby crowned kinglets, flitted through the air between the branches above us. These tiny birds are not much bigger than hummingbirds. There were so many more observations on our walk, but the most amazing sight on our outing was to witness Klara’s interactions with some of the veteran birders who “took her under their wings” and helped her to locate birds so well camouflaged in their surroundings. They offered her sage advice on how to practice bringing objects into view with her dad’s big binoculars. Most importantly they were a great group of natural historians and shared so much with us about this tiny woodland in the middle of the Illinois prairie.

The favorite find for Klara on our outing was not the yellow bellied sapsucker or the hawk pair working together to build their family home. It was what was revealed to her when a member of the group rolled back a rotten log to reveal three small-mouthed salamanders. Not exactly a bird but nonetheless one more key that unlocked a door revealing more of the secrets of nature to my daughter.

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Check the main Audubon website for information about your local Audubon Society Chapter.

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Carrie Schwarz received her PhD in Ecology from Penn State University in 2006. She is currently employed by two tiny people who think that fairy shrimp are way cooler than sea monkeys. Carrie and her family currently reside in the midwest, although the rising stacks of packed boxes in the house remind them of their swiftly approaching move to the pacific northwest.

HOW DO I LOVE THEE BRAIN, LET ME COUNT THE WAYS

By Unknown 

How do I love thee brain? Let me count the ways.

I love thy neurons which communicate with the rest of my body.

I love thy neocortex for allowing my senses to work.

My soul reaches out to you.

I love you to your cerebellum for integrating

my senses with movement.

I love your river-like blueness and your ideal grace.

- – -

This piece was composed during the May 14th session of the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. During this day, students were given a tour of various human organ systems, and allowed a chance to explore them with microscopes. Afterwards, students were then asked to compose an ode to an organ of their choice. Herein we present pieces concerning love or hatred for parts of the body. More pieces from this class can be seen here.

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BRAIN, HOW DO I LOVE THEE?

By Daniel Gao

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.

You are working tirelessly, never ceasing to stop.
Working day after day, your cerebellum is always on top.

You let me feel, smell, see, hear, and taste.
You tell my body to kill the germs when I eat an icky paste.

Your hormones are always on time, telling me when to go.
Until I reach a washroom, where I can release the flow.

How glad I’m not in the past as an ancient Egyptian
where you’d be pulled through my nose without any medication.

I believe you know how much I love you
but you don’t need to know that – you already do.

- – -

This piece was composed during the May 14th session of the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. During this day, students were given a tour of various human organ systems, and allowed a chance to explore them with microscopes. Afterwards, students were then asked to compose an ode to an organ of their choice. Herein we present pieces concerning love or hatred for parts of the body. More pieces from this class can be seen here.

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A LETTER TO MY BRAIN

By Lucas Estabrook

Dear Brain,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

You help me write this very loving
poem to you like the moon helping
the water make tides.

You also help me learn how you
work, like a toddler learning the
ABC’s.

Finally, you allow me to understand
that I actually exist on Earth.

Sincerely, Lucas

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HOW DO I LOVE THEE HEART?

By Camille Robinson

How do I love thee heart? Let me count the ways.
I love the way you beat when you smell bacon. I love you
so much that I will never swallow any gum so I
won’t form a ring around you. So I can see your
beautiful veins every day. You are like my fins
on a dolphin. You are my kitty to my cat. You are
the lemon to my ade. Together, we make the best
lemonade ever. I love it how you keep my arteries
flowing with fresh blue/red blood. I love it
how you keep my veins so colour coordinated.
I shall love thee heart, through blood clots,
and popped blood vessels forever. I love you heart.

- – -

This piece was composed during the May 14th session of the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. During this day, students were given a tour of various human organ systems, and allowed a chance to explore them with microscopes. Afterwards, students were then asked to compose an ode to an organ of their choice. Herein we present pieces concerning love or hatred for parts of the body. More pieces from this class can be seen here.

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HOW DO I HATE THEE ALZHEIMERS?

By Kamaira LeBlanc

How do I hate thee Alzheimers? Let me
count the ways.

Confusion, anger, memory loss -
it’s like a giant maze.

Twists and turns in emotional sorrow
that will still continue on tomorrow.

For some very unfortunate people
this is the way of life,
for how would you feel if this was
you or someone you love as if your wife?

Such a horrible thing to come across
you’re so lucky to avoid such a loss.

- – -

This piece was composed during the May 14th session of the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. During this day, students were given a tour of various human organ systems, and allowed a chance to explore them with microscopes. Afterwards, students were then asked to compose an ode to an organ of their choice. Herein we present pieces concerning love or hatred for parts of the body. More pieces from this class can be seen here.

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COLLECTED WORKS FROM MANOAH STEVES ELEMENTARY, MAY 14th 2008

By the Science Creative Literary Symposia

These pieces were composed during the May 14th session of the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. During this day, students were given a tour of various human organ systems, and allowed a chance to explore them with microscopes. Afterwards, students were then asked to compose an ode to an organ of their choice. Herein we present pieces concerning love or hatred for parts of the body.

- – -

How do I love thee brain? Let me count the ways,
I love you when I am crazed.
And also when I am dazed.
And when I dream
I deem
That it’s you that give me those wondrous themes.
And when Parkinson’s comes in sight
I am sorry but it’s time for you to fight.
And please don’t relent
Of all of those hormones you’ve sent.
For I promise I will never love
you less than how I love you now.
And if you were not there,
All I’d do is sigh – and
probably die,
So please don’t leave my side
for I’ll love you till I die.

(~Noah Verheyen)

- – -

Dear Heart,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee way you pump blood throughout my body
to keep me breathing every step that I engage.

(~Rachell Gelera and Harmony Galang)

- – -

I hate you nose! These are the reasons why…
If you sneeze, you’ll say, “Oh my!”
As liquid comes out,
it is yellow and you
will bellow “I need tissue!”
People will be dazed and will start to gaze and think you have an issue.
Also, there will be snot and they can get clot! And you’ll have to pick your nose!
and when I do that, I’ll hear other people say, “Fear Kevin!”

(~Kevin Lu)

- – -

Dear Heart,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depths of the ocean
for without you, I cannot live nor love
The sound of your beats are
like music to my ears. You keep me breathing
and alive – without you I will not
Survive!

(~Mikee Hertez)

- – -

How do I love thy brain. Let me count the ways.
Thy brain helps my five senses, hear, touch
taste and see. The collection everybody needs.
Small in size, you fit in my head with so much knowledge
bundled inside. You bring many tears and
smiles at different times, but help me climb the
ladder of life.

(~Mattea Costa)

- – -

How do I love thee heart? Let me count the ways.
I love thee swirly abstract of your DNA
You pump as if going up a hill on a bike
I love thee dark vivid veins on your soul
You are the jelly inside our bone
I love thee way you beat more than
2.5 billion times in a lifetime
You are the pumping chambers to my heart
You are also the pumping chambers to my gassy fart
For I love thee we shall never part.

(~Delaney Lee)

- – -

How do I love thee heart? Let me count the ways.
Without you, our bodies would not function, our blood would not flow.
You are like the bread to our peanut butter and jelly sandwich,
You keep us going when times are tough.
I love the way you beat, keeping a steady pace to our lives,
I love the way you fill up our crusts, like pies.
I love the way you DON’T control our emotions, but just
act as a giant pump.
I love the way you tick, giving us a jump.
Oh heart, how I love thee, together we will live peacefully.

(~Chelsea Riva)

- – -

Oh, how I hate the allergies,
let me count the ways.
It’s a nasty thing to have
and can shorten your life in days.
It blocks your organs to and fro
that’s why I hate it so.
If I were to have more than one
I am sure it would be no fun.

It might cause a stuffy nose
which can be shot out like a rose.
Once again it would be no fun
if you were to more than one
but lucky for me, I … have … none.

(~Timothy French)

- – -

Oh blood, how I love you
Flowing through me
Oh blood, how I love you
Making me somebody
The white blood cells are fighting off enemies
from A to Z
The platelets cause clots, preventing the blood
from running away from me.
The red blood cells are delivering the oxygen,
where granulocytes release toxins,
which help fight disease.
Oh blood, how I love you.

(~Asad Hussain)

- – -

Dear Brain,

How do I love thee brain? Let me count
the ways. I love the way you allow me to
think without thinking. You brain, are the
smartest computer, your neurons are so
wonderful, and your cerebellum is why I
move! I love thee so much! Your primary sensory
organ keeps me on thee toes. You’re responsible for
my behaviour, and keeps me so unique!

But…
Brain, I hate thee so much, your
diseases keep me up at night and
give me such a fright, your Parkinsons
disease is so very nasty, Alzheimers
disease is making me forget why I
ever liked you! Oh, I hate you so much.

(~Natalie MacKelworth)

- – -

What up blood! I love you such. Let me count how much.
Let you multiple. How much?
When I get out, I’m like what? Platelets herd me up.
When you’re rich, you are blue when you’re red
I am dead. Too much white too bad. Too less red is dead.
I deliver oxygen, to your head.
If you don’t get enough, you are dead.

Ciao Blood.

(~Alexander Dengler)

- – -

I love ye brain, how I love ye brain to death. I love ye through good and bad times. Through sad and glad times. Ye give me funny thoughts. Ye give me sunny thoughts. Thee brain may be mushy. But to me, you are squishy (although there’s no difference). The frontal lobe is happy. But the backward lobe is sappy. The sideway lobes are gappy. Without ye, I would die. That is how I love thee brain. In many ways.

(~Michael Powell)

- – -

How do I love thee heart? Let me count the ways.
You are my life, since you beat for me throughout
the days. Your ventricles keep me going and
you have a while to go, but when we stop working
you will have beat 2.5 billion times for me. You are
so red, just like the blood you pump. Without you,
I would never make it through. I LOVE YOU!

(~Debbie Moffatt)

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A LETTER FROM A TOP SECRET WOODPECKER TO THE HUMAN LEADER OF CANADA

By R. Samson

Attn:
Human Leader of Canada

To the Human Leader of Canada,

Greetings from all Woodpeckers. We send this letter as a warning, but also as a letter heralding the beginning of a possible alliance. Our outpost on Pender Island, off the West coast of your country called Canada, as well as our other major outposts around the world is aware that your tree-cutting and dwelling-building machines are hard at work destroying the trees, polluting the air, and polluting the water. Things like this are necessary for expanding our outpost and protecting the Rat and Bat Kingdoms that rely so heavily on us. You are destroying us!

We have an offer to make, and there will be consequences for not accepting. Decline, and we send in our already mobilized forces for all-out war. Accept, and we will pull our forces back. The deal is very simple: stop destroying our homes and you survive. Or, you can continue destroying us and be destroyed yourself. It is your choice.

Do not underestimate our power. We know where all your forces are, and we know they are completely unprepared. Can the same be said for you? No, we don’t think so. We have the tactical advantage because you don’t know anything about us.

This letter has been sent by the leader of all Woodpeckers around the world on behalf of all Woodpeckers, in hopes that we can someday form an alliance.

Sincerely,

- Classified Name -
(Woodpecker)
Forests of Pender Island

P.S. All the human information in this letter has been gathered by our spies. Many Woodpecker spies died to bring us this crucial data.

- – -

This piece was composed during the May 9th session of the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. During this day, students from Admiral Seymour Elementary School were guided through the construction of three aquatic biospheres, and were then asked to compose a letter from something or someone that is “voiceless”, but might nevertheless have something to say. More pieces from this class can be seen here.

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A LETTER FROM BOB DOUGH, GREEN SEA TURTLE, TO ANY LIFE ON MARS.

By Anderson Phan

Attn:
Any Life on Mars
4444 Marstreet
Mars, Santorus

Dear Martians,

If you obtain this letter, please read. Us sea turtles are being slowly killed by those darn humans. I decided to write this letter to any life on another planet. I cannot stand to see any more of my fellow turtles die like this. I plan to start a war with humans. We have an advantage of swimming and waddling on land and water. We also have very advanced technology, an example is lasers and energy shields. The lasers can be strapped onto our heads and fired by using our minds. There will also be a laser turret on our backs that’s also controlled by our minds. There are about 20 billion turtles around the world that can be sent into warfare. Our headquarters is the sunken city of Atlantis. We shall be waiting for your letter to arrive at Atlantis.

Sincerely,
Turtle General
Bob Dough

P.S. Please send a note on your force’s indication. We might attack you by accident if we don’t know what you look like. Also, we do not need sleep, so we can fight 24/7.

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This piece was composed during the May 9th session of the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. During this day, students from Admiral Seymour Elementary School were guided through the construction of three aquatic biospheres, and were then asked to compose a letter from something or someone that is “voiceless”, but might nevertheless have something to say. More pieces from this class can be seen here.

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A LETTER FROM DOLPH THE DOLPHIN TO A GEORGE WASHINGTON LIVING IN COLORADO

By Sunny Shih

Attn:
George Washington
1842 Arizona Ave.
784 Denver, Colorado

Dear George W.,

Have we ever met? Once? Twice? Never? Man! How is it in the States? It is so much fun in the water. A lot of dolphins are building new homes so we can live and have fun in the water. We can do tricks, play on the playgrounds. We have food and a lot of toys, supplies and we have school! We can watch ballgames, watch movies in theatres, plays and we have underwater vehicles. I dream that I can drive the UnderMobile 3000. It would be so awesome. Each day, I go to school, except weekends. I do my homework and once I finish, I play all I want. When I have my playtime, I always play videogames that are driving games. I love to drive. I also play with my friends, watch TV, or go to plays or movies with my friends. I want to write more and more letters. It would be awesome. We write each day back and forth. It would be awesome if we write back and forth every minute. You will write back? Promise? I have to go, so please write back.

Sincerely,

Dolph the Dolphin
9999 Dolphin Island

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This piece was composed during the May 9th session of the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. During this day, students from Admiral Seymour Elementary School were guided through the construction of three aquatic biospheres, and were then asked to compose a letter from something or someone that is “voiceless”, but might nevertheless have something to say. More pieces from this class can be seen here.

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