Vomiting.

Aggressive sweating.

Evil powerpoint slides.

B.S.

Spitting.

Mumbling.

Multiple shots of that animal or flower you saw during your vacation, that yes, while interesting, does not need more than one slide in your talk.

Non-mocking, gratuitous product placements.

Fake accents.

Wardrobe malfunctions.

Being under the influence.

Slides depicting graphic surgical techniques (unless of course, your talk is about the said graphic surgical technique).

Being creepy.

Unnecessary math.

Intense body odor.

The font: Comic Sans.

Being dull.

Laughing nervously.

Laughing maniacally.

Wearing sunglasses for no apparent reason.

Not making eye contact.

Inappropriate bleeding.

Your phone ringing.

Significant use/exploration of body orifices.

Poor colour choice on slides.

Losing consciousness.

Sub optimal body fluid control.

Being too long.

Losing your dentures.

Excessive slide animations.

Revealing, distracting attire.

Apparent and/or perceived randomness.

Erections.

Spelling errors.

Overt, uncalled for arrogance.

Laser pointer abuse.

Embarrassing computer desktops (during setup or slideshow problem).

Not having a backup.

Packing heat.

Winging it.

Being an idiot.

Thanks to PhysioProf, Karen, Chris, Jenjen, Stephen, Janet, Fiona, fizzchick, Tara, GrrlScientist, 6EQUJ5, Eva, Timon, RPM, John, Mark, Cherish, bsci, tguy, HP, tk, le.gail.savant, Feynmaniac, Matthew, Mike, Lab Rat, George, Eric, cowgirl, Mike, Eric, Samia, and Lisa. To suggest more, please go here and leave a comment.

Just a quick note. Although it’s been a while, a few of us are meeting for drinks on Friday night (July 25th) at The Revel Room in Gastown, Vancouver (8pm on). It just so happens that it’s about the 500th Day Anniversary of the Science Scouts.

What’s this? Well, it’s this. Think: science plus badges plus raising a pint in celebration and you’re getting close.

If you happen to be in the area feel free to drop by – better yet, let us know by replying to the facebook page.

Link to commentary here.

Link to commentary here.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I hae been turned into a wasp. Please bear with me being a wasp. I live in a hive now. Also, let Joe have my room and money, since I’m a wasp and I don’t need money.

Love Matt.

p.s. I will fly in the house and do two back flips, so you can recognize me.

xoxox

Being an insect is certainly not easy. Having two long antennae, six legs, two wings, and three body segments, I make people become afraid of me. They may step on me because of their fear, or they might keep me in a cage. Also, it is extremely hard to defend myself against these threats. I may be able to fly, but I many never want to go back to my classroom. I think my family will not recognize me, although I want them to. If they don’t recognize me, I might just as well join the other insects.

Help me! I don’t know what I am, or what happened, but I have six legs and wings. When I walked flew into school, I almost got crushed! HELP!

p.s. If you don’t recognize me, that’s normal…

Dear Family,

I’ve been turned into a big insect! Everything is so much bigger, and I feel so insignificant. My legs feel so funny now, apart from the fact that I have six of them. I have a heavy hard shell, and two long antennae.

Although everything’s much different, some things are easier. I can feel with my antennae, and finally, I can hold a book, the TV remote, a drink, AND food at the same time!

From, your family insect.

p.s. Mom, I told you that that shirt was too big!

These pieces were composed during the May 13th session of the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. During this day, students examined the many wonders of insects (using microscopes, and from resin collections, as well as from the Spencer Entomology Collection). Afterwards, students were then asked to design their own insect, as well as compose a postcard written as if they had been turned into an insect.

Dear Mom and Nick,

I have been living the life of a beetle. It’s not very easy. The people will try and hurt you and don’t care about what you think. I look very different now, because I AM AN INSECT! I have lamellate antenna and c chewing mouth which is very pointy. I don’t only have 2 legs, I have 6 legs. I am very sensitive. Please help me.

Love, Adrienne.

~Adrienne Chen

Dear Family,

I have turned into an insect and it’s not too bad. I get to scurry around the floor, avoiding dangers. That is so cool.

Love Jacky.

~Jacky Ng

My dear family,

Hi~ How are you doing? Well, I’m not doing very well. I have been turned into an insect. Being an insect is so scary – have to avoid humans, animals, and the weather. Many things can destroy me easily, if they want. Being a human is way more better.

Sunny

~Sunny Chen

To mom,

I am a bug and it feels very different. I sort of like it. I have food and I can fly. I hope you are not scared of me because I am still your son. I hope to come home soon.

Love Jason.

~Jason Hoang

It feels strange and small being an insect. It feels like your arms or legs are going to fall off any second. It feels like you’re going to get squashed any moment and die.

~unknown

I have recently turned into an insect. I feel that whenever I’m outside, I’m in danger. Every time, I look at myself, I feel like I don’t belong and my friends would never talk to me. I hear and see everything differently, than what I used to. I don’t feel like eating any more food like I used to, but instead, I eat grass and leaves.

~Edward Nguyen

Dear Family,

I have turned into an insect, and I don’t think you would recognize me anymore. Trying to walk on six legs is very challenging, because I was always taught to walk on two. Everything seems so BIG! I have to always try to stay hidden or else, people would attempt to kill me. I’m also starting to find leaves very delicious. My antennae are getting annoying because it’s very sensitive, but I have to learn to live with it. Please don’t kill any insects you see, because one of those insects might be me.

~Aliana Carlos

Dear Mom and Dad,

Being an insect is not fun. Walking with six legs is harder than it looks. When I look at you, you are ten million trillion times bigger than me. I am just a grain of sand.

Love our son,
Tony

~Tony Kwok

Dear Family,

It is not fun to be an insect. Everybody is so big compared to you, and you know that at any moment, you could get squashed. Be careful and try not to end up like me.

Love, Your Beetle, Lily

~Lily Wang

Dear Family members,

Being an insect is awesome. I get to fly and eat leaves. The only disadvantage is that I might get eaten by other insects. The only way I can defend myself is by flying away.

Sincerely, Lady Bug

p.s. I will not be home for a long time.

~Philip Li

Being an insect is really different than being a human. You walk with six legs and you have wings. You get to certain places faster, and transportation is easier. There are no traffic lights. You don’t go to school, but you need to pollenate plants. People try to kill me, and you need to stay away from humans, but you do learn how to talk “insect language.”

~Alice He

To Family,

I am much smaller now. I hope you still like me, or don’t think I am gross now. And if I came home, please watch out for me. You might step on me, even though you might not try to. That is just how small I am now. I don’t think I would like to come stay in my bedroom. Still, though – so if I do come, I will only visit for a few days.

From Beetle

~Harvir Dhaliwal

To: Family.

When I woke up this morning, I turned into an insect and it was really difficult for me to walk, fly, and I was really scared. I finally got home after this hard day, and none of you guys recognized me. I am sad and scared now, and I am hiding in a corner of my room.

From Wilson

~Wilson Wang

I am one of the million leaves
in the wild.
I am Red.
Autumn has given me my bright red dress.
Now, I am one of the leaves in the sea of red.

I am white.
Don’t ask why,
because We all know
If you really can’t guess, you shall go ask snow.

I am green
not just green but lime green, yellowish green.
Blooms filled my vision.
this is the season when new ones come and
old ones go.

I still remain green,
under the bright shining sun.
the light is blinding my eyes,
but I quite happy with my
self, under the extreme heat.

I am a leaf.