A retelling of Kitzmiller vs. Dover Area School District,with apologies to Ernest L. Thayer The outlook wasn’t brilliant ‘neath that Pennsylvania sky: The courts stood N to zip before the new case here to try. Creationism in the schools had died a legal death, And now as Rothschild rose, Gishville IDers held their breath. The Pandas text was soon invoked in early draft. The I- D faithful clung to dogma calling evolution lie. They thought, “If only Behe could shore up this house of sand — We’d get it in the classroom yet, with Behe on the stand.” But Gillen…
The Science Creative Quarterly
From February, 2009
THE HMS BEAGLE PROJECT – A SCIENCE CREATIVE QUARTERLY PIN UP (NO. 3)
(CLICK HERE FOR PIN-UP POSTER – pdf file ~200k) – We suggest photocopying at 129% – LTR to 11×17 – My wish was to be buried in the Churchyard at Downe. Now I find Mr Huxley, thumbing his nose at the Queen for refusing me a knighthood, arranged to have me planted in that mausoleum Westminster Abbey. He knows I hated London. And burying an agnostic in such a place is carrying whimsy just a little too far. So I was delighted when a mob of angry biologists and historians broke into the Abbey one night and removed my remains…
OF EVOLUTION AND THE BIBLE
In the Beginning… Many people believe that there is a conflict between science and religion when it comes to the question of how life began on Earth. While only a minority of people situate themselves squarely on one side of this debate, the topic tends to draw the attention of everyone. This is because the answer to the question of where we came from serves as the jumping off point for defining our morality and our purpose here on Earth. Quite simply, once we know what brought us into being, we know where to ask for instructions. Consequently, any explanation…
IT’S A LUCKY THING FOR EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGY THAT THE FOLLOWING PASSAGES AREN’T IN THE BIBLE
Jesus then entered the farm, and saw creatures of every shape and size, and so said to his followers, “Hey, my Dad made that creature, and that creature, and also that creature… Actually, now that I think about it, he made them all.” And at the early dawn of the seventh day, just before He rested, God did a lot of pretty complicated things at super duper God speed. This was so that people would think the whole Creation thing probably took a lot longer than seven days. The heavens opened and the angels proclaimed, “Fear any literate man, capable…
LIMERICKS OF EVOLUTION
There once was a young man named Darwin Who spent five years tossed to the far wind He wrote a book for his peers After only twenty short years And now he’s as pop as George Carlin. They say we all came from a monkey But I say that theory is bunky Because as anyone knows Who talks with creationist pros That some people are closer to donkey. Asked the petrified School Board of Kansas: “I wonder why everyone slams us?” The answer it seemed As if from space it were beamed Was: when God gave out brains, they were…
IN WHICH OUR PROTAGONIST LEARNS THE IMPORTANCE OF THE BASE CASE
I was three years old. By this point in my life, the residents of Sesame Street had educated me about as well as any community of puppets could reasonably be expected to educate any small child. Family legend has my father holding me, age fifteen months, as he selected an ice cream treat from the Dickie Dee vendor outside our Virginia home. I don’t know if I recognized the varieties of snacks, but apparently I could make some sense of their names. “I,” I enunciated, pointing. “C. E. C…” Incredulous, my father informed my mother, “She knows letters.” Since neither…
LOTIC
In electric confrontations, the clouds gather, grow dark, and grumble their dissent. They lumber about like gravid beasts, heavy bellies aimed at the earth below; a slow dance that lasts for days. Then, like a crescendo, it rains. Not an unusual phenomenon in this urban area of the west coast trapped between the mountains and the sea. The geometric nature of the city provides a horizon of percussive surfaces in the form of concrete stalagmites that have colonized what once was a temperate rainforest. What trees remain have been landscaped into place. And water batters into the foliage, each leaf…
THE SCIENCE/ARTS DIVIDE STANDS BETWEEN US: A LOVE STORY
“Tell me something interesting,” he says to me as we sit side by side on the bus. He looks so cold and calculated and I wonder if he feels anything towards me at all. He takes up room in his seat. I barely fit next to him. He is an overachiever, overeducated and impeccably self-reliant, with what most would call a bright future ahead of him. He is the science student. Is this what I want? Is this who I am? I feel torn within myself. He looks me over, bored, unsatisfied, and I feel an old familiar pain come…