(Introducing a new series by Ralph Gamelli)
- – -

During my commute home a few weeks ago, I came across an old classmate from high school. After our initial exchange of typical greetings, we customarily inquired each other about our current endeavors. I quickly learned that he obtained a Bachelor of Business Administration from Simon Fraser University and is currently working for a small company. When asked about my work/school status, I answered with my instinctive “I’m doing grad school” response. This wasn’t the first time someone met my answer with an empty stare followed by a pseudo-empathetic nod. He obviously wasn’t satisfied with my simple reply so he decided to pursue the matter further:

“So, what do you do in grad school?” he asked.

I jumped at the opportunity to educate the general public about my novel research project. “I do research,” I began. “My project focuses on how the immune system …”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” he interrupted. “I wanted to know what you actually do in graduate school. What is the graduate life like? What do you actually have to do to get your degree? Tell me more about that sort of stuff.”
I must admit his question took me by surprise. For the first time in my grad school life someone expressed interest about what graduate students like me actually do during the day. His question also made me realize that the outside world knew as little about our lives as they did about our research. After a brief pause to gather my thoughts, an idea came to mind.

“Do you like Star Wars?” I asked

“I have a Wookiee living in my basement” was the reply.

I kindly acknowledged his comment, but everyone knows that Wookiees live on trees and can be over two meters tall. There is no way a Wookiee would willingly live in his small basement, but I digress. The force may be weak with this one, but at least now we have something in common.

“Working to get your PhD is like training to become a Jedi Knight,” I started. “You follow a Master; you live a life of sacrifice; you must develop rational thought and patience… the list is endless.”

My friend looked puzzled but intrigued. “It is still rather difficult for me to see the connections; can you provide some specific scenarios?”

“Sure thing,” I laughed. This is going to be interesting….

- – -

Not so long ago, in a research institute close to home…

Episode I

THE JOURNEY BEGINS

There is excitement in the Jinn lab.
Their recent efforts to elucidate the
role of the immune system in heart
attacks have returned extremely
convincing results.

In recognition of their achievements,
the funding agency has approved the
lab’s latest grant application, giving
Dr. Jinn the resources to take on a
new graduate student.

With the closing of the winter school
term, the professor has received a
flood of applications from university
graduates seeking employment in
his lab….

- – -

Professor Qui-Gon Jinn sat silently on the chair behind his desk, his intense blue eyes fixed upon the anxious student across from him. “That is a very impressive academic record, young…” he looked down at the name on the transcript, “…Skywalker.”

“Thank you, Dr. Jinn,” said Anakin Skywalker. He stared at his own hands to avoid the professor’s gaze. Is he offering me the position? He was eager to know but could not muster the courage to ask.

“Why do you want to enter graduate school?” Qui-Gon asked.

“I want to be a researcher. I want to help find a cure to heart disease,” Anakin replied.

“Are you sure you would like to enter the PhD program?” the professor continued. “Training to become a PhD is not an easy challenge, and even if you succeed, it’s a hard life.”

A PhD has a hard life? Yea right! Anakin thought. But there was a solemnity in Qui-Gon’s voice that led Anakin to believe the professor wasn’t joking. “Yes professor, I am sure.” Anakin answered without a second thought.

“Very well, Anakin, welcome to graduate school.” Qui-Gon stood up and walked towards the door. He motioned for the student to follow him. “Come, I will show you the laboratory.”

“Right away, sir.” Anakin rose so quickly he nearly knocked over his chair. He rushed to keep up with the professor’s long strides. At last they reached an elevator at the end of a long hallway.

“As you may know, Anakin,” Qui-Gon said as the elevator door closed, “I have recently received a 5 year grant from the Heart and Stoke Foundation. This grant will support you through your studies here. You will be working on a new project that involves finding ways to use one’s own immune system to help combat cardiovascular disease.”

“10th floor,” announced a mechanical voice. The elevator beeped happily as the door opened to reveal a sunlit hallway. Qui-Gon led Anakin into a laboratory on their left.

“Ahem!” Qui-Gon coughed.

A young man shot up from his chair, evidently startled. From the corner of the room a strange-looking creature with wide eyes and long floppy ears hurried to join them.

“Umm… hi Master,” the young man greeted as he covered his Star Wars comic with a pile of scrap paper. The young man eyed Anakin disapprovingly. “Master, why do I get the feeling that we’ve picked up another pathetic life form?”

Qui-Gon paid no attention to the young man’s remark. “Anakin, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi, my PhD student.”

“Anakin Skywalker,” the student extended his hand.

Obi-Wan took the hand and shook it.

Qui-Gon turned toward the creature. “And this is Jar-Jar Binks,” he said.

“Mesa your humble technician,” Jar-Jar bowed.

Qui-Gon put his hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “Mr. Skywalker is going to be a new apprentice in my lab,” he said.
Obi-Wan widened his eyes, “Master! You said you only had time for one PhD student!”

“My young Padawan, you have been under my supervision for more than four years, and your thesis is well developed,” Qui-Gon replied. He continued, “I sense it is time for you to defend your thesis and complete your PhD training.”

Obi-Wan bowed, “I am grateful you think I’m ready to take the trials, Master.”

“It is settled then,” said Qui-Gon. “Anakin, go to the Great Library and begin reading about heart disease. Once you have acquired sufficient background knowledge you will be trained to perform some basic experiments.”

“Yes, Master,” Anakin obeyed.

As the elevator crawled sluggishly towards the ground floor, Anakin couldn’t help but wonder whether he had made the correct choice. The events that took place this morning may have completely reshaped his life. He has taken the first step down a long and difficult road. He is not sure where this road will lead him, but he is prepared to tackle the challenges ahead, one at a time.

- – -

It has been nearly one year since Anakin Skywalker entered the PhD program under the supervision of Dr. Qui-Gon Jinn. As per departmental requirements, all new students must have a committee meeting prior to the completion of their first year. For that purpose, a panel of prestigious professors has been assembled and scheduled to meet this very afternoon.

Qui-Gon paused as he and Anakin approached the meeting room. “Remember, my young Padawan, your committee members are here to help you. Do not be offended by their criticisms, for they will only make you stronger.”

“Then why does it feel like I’m heading straight into the jaws of a Sando aqua monster?” Anakin groaned.

“Nonsense, in you go.”

The meeting room is a circular chamber located on the highest floor of the research centre; a ring of chairs lines the periphery of the room. The committee members were already waiting when Anakin and Qui-Gon arrived.

Qui-Gon led Anakin to the center of the room. “Anakin, meet Drs. Yoda, Mace Windu, Ki-Adi-Mundi, and…” he paused, “Queen Amidala.”

“Why is she here?” whispered Anakin.

“One of your committee members must be someone outside of the department,” Qui-Gon explained quietly. “Now, if we are all ready, let the meeting commence.”

Anakin took a deep breath as Qui-Gon left him to take a seat on one of the chairs.

“How feel you?” Yoda began.

“Cold, sir.”

“Stressed are you?”

“No, sir.”

“See through you we can,” cautioned Yoda.

“Be mindful of your feelings,” said Windu.

“Your thoughts dwell on your experiments,” Mundi revealed.

“I want to generate data,” said Anakin innocently.

“Anxious about your results I think, hmm?”

“What has that got to do with anything?” Anakin retorted.

“Everything!” Yoda exclaimed. “Stress is the path to the dark side. Stress leads to suffering. Suffering leads to panic. Panic leads to fabrication of data. I sense much stress in you.”

Qui-Gon raised his hand to interrupt the conversation. “Maybe we should let Anakin talk about what he’s working on.”

“Tell us about your research, you may,” Yoda went on.

“Yes, sir,” Anakin swallowed before continuing. “My research is about a disease called atherosclerosis, which is one of the most common causes of death in developed nations such as our own. Atherosclerosis is….”

“We know that, you may skip the background,” interrupted Mace Windu.

“I don’t know the background,” said Queen Amidala.

Dr. Windu rolled his eyes. “Very well then, Anakin, please continue.”

Anakin cleared his throat. “A risk factor for atherosclerosis is called inflammation, which happens when the cells in your body produce too many harmful substances and damage important structures like your blood vessels. Damaged blood vessels become leaky, and this allows fat to enter and accumulate within your vessel walls. Over time the fat build up may block your vessel, which cuts off blood supply to critical organs such as the heart, causing a heart attack. Alternatively the fat may break off and travel to other parts of your body and block a vessel there. If blood supply to your brain is cut off this way, you may get a stroke.”

“What causes inflammation?” Amidala quizzed, looking up from her notepad.

“High fat diets, smoking, diabetes, stress, poor oral hygiene, among other things,” Anakin replied.

“What is your research question?” inquired Dr. Mundi.

“Since the immune system is largely responsible for producing inflammation, I am developing a way to prevent the cells in the immune system from releasing inflammatory chemicals,” Anakin explained confidently.

“How?” asked Dr. Windu.

“By genetically removing some key proteins required for the cells to make inflammatory chemicals, sir.”

Yoda raised an eyebrow. “Attempting to do this in humans, are you?”

“I’m using mice as an experimental model, sir.”

“How would you know whether your methods worked?” Dr. Mundi pushed on.

Anakin was beginning to enjoy the attention. “I will create mice that lack key inflammatory proteins using genetic engineering. Then I will feed the mice high fat foods over a period of time and look at their blood vessels to see how much fat has accumulated.”

“Designed a great experiment, Qui-Gon has,” beamed Yoda.

Mace Windu and Ki-Adi-Mundi nodded in agreement.

Qui-Gon looked at each person in the room, his gaze ultimately falling upon Queen Amidala. “If you don’t have anything to add, my Queen, I am going to conclude this meeting.”

Amidala gave a quick nod of approval.

“Very well,” Qui-Gon announced as he stood up. “Thank you all for coming today. I am sure Anakin has….”

Qui-Gon paused abruptly; his face contorted as if in pain. The onlookers watched in horror as Qui-Gon clutched his chest and collapsed to the ground.

“Master! No!”

“Call an ambulance we must!”

“We need a REAL doctor in here!”

- – -

Anakin and Obi-Wan watched solemnly as the flames consumed Qui-Gon’s lifeless body.

Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan. “What will happen to me now?”

“The department has given me permission to train you. You will become a PhD, I promise.”

An eagle’s cry echoed in the distance. The life of Qui-Gon Jinn may have ended, but his legacy will live on. He has devoted his life to science through his relentless pursuit for scientific knowledge. His name will be honoured in the reference section of countless publications for years to come. That is the goal of a PhD in academia; that is the PhD life.

Part of our Science Creative Literary Symposia.

- – -
MY DREAM

Hi, my name is Difflugia, and I live by the marshes. My dream is to become a world class swimmer in the microbe Summer Olympics. My older brother says I look like a tadpole because of my sleek body. I am superb at swimming, especially in races. One time, I won first place in the junior microbe swimming tournament! Although I have a bad temper, which makes me prone to smashing objects when I’m angry, people say I am generous because I help microbes that don’t have a place to live. I cannot focus well doing tasks such as shopping for groceries in the market because I sometimes forget why I was there in the first place.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to go to the microbe Summer Olympics because I still need much more training and still yet to raise enough money to go there. Thankfully, my older brother volunteered to be my swimming tutor. Now that I have access to free training, I can focus on raising enough money to go to the microbe Summer Olympics, which is one whole human step away from my marsh. I am looking for a job that will use my other talent, which is digging. I am good at digging because during my childhood, I always had an urge to dig rare objects up.

Luckily, I was able to join my father’s digging company which digs up fossils. But sometimes, my father is disappointed at the fact that I dislike digging up fossils. I’d rather dig up banana peels and other rare exotic items, such as diamonds! The work was very gruelling, but after a few months, I had managed to make a decent amount of money to go to the microbe Summer Olympics! During the intense swimming competition, I was close to getting third place but I managed to speed ahead of a Noctilluca and steal second place. After stepping onto the podium, I learnt an important lesson : If you set your mind to something, you can achieve anything!

THE END

By Jason Khuu and Jimmy Tsang, Grade 6

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SALMONELLA

In the microscopic world, there was a tiny microbe called Salmonella. He looked like a long white cylinder, he smelled like a dead pig and he growled like an angry dog often, because he was always lonely. Salmonella had been abandoned by all his friends and family and wanted revenge.

In order to take revenge, Salmonella wanted to take over the world. His only problem was that he was too weak and too small, which meant he needed to grow bigger, so he tried to make his own magic potion that would make him bigger, so he set off on a journey searching for the magic growing plant which was called Grow-A-Lot. On his journey he met an evil wizard and so, he asked the wizard if he could cast a spell on him that could make him greater in size. The wizard was surprised that he dared to talk to him and so furiously, he said “NO! How dare you ask for my help.” So Salmonella set off again. Soon after he saw a plant that looked like the Grow-A-Lot plant he picked it and headed back home. Once he was home, he got out his cauldron, his great-grandmother’s magic spell book which had the recipe that allowed him to grow with the right ingredients and so, he mixed all the ingredients together with a result of an awesome growing potion. He gulped the potion down until the last drop and not before long, he noticed everything was getting incredibly big and so he just thought that everything around him would also get bigger, but guess what! He was shrinking instead of growing. He had accidentally picked a Shrink-A-Lot plant instead! Salmonella felt like a failure but he kept trying because of his huge urge of wanting to take over the world. Until this day Salmonella is still continuing his journey toward world domination.

THE END

By Jessica Chen and Josephine Chow, Grade 6

- – -

KING VORTICELLA VS. KING FORAMINIFERA

Once there was a big war between two kingdoms of the microbe world: Vorticella kingdom and Foraminifera Kingdom. They often laughed at each other because of their different looks. Foraminifera laughed at the Vorticella because Vorticella looked like faint pink dots, and Vorticella laughed at the Foraminifera because Foraminifera looked like brown dotted glass. They also laughed at each other because Foraminifera smelled like moldy eggs and Vorticella smelled like bubble gum. Soon they got mad at each other. When they were mad, they both made a goal, and their goal was to kill each other someday.

Their plans usually don’t work because they both have the microbe world’s strongest armies. The Vorticella is afraid of Foraminifera‘s warriors and the Foraminifera is afraid of Vorticella‘s warriors. They try to overcome the problem by killing the king’s family then kill the soldiers, and finally kill the king. But nothing worked because both of their stronger soldiers surrounded the king and his family, so they can’t make any move to hurt them.

Both of the microbe kingdoms trained very hard to be stronger and to defeat the other kingdom. Although they train hard and try their best nothing worked on the enemies, instead one day they were fighting and both of the king’s family got killed. At the end they both surrendered and had wished they had made peace years ago when they were friends with each other in their ancestor’s time.

THE END

By Jessica Zhou and Jennifer Lin, Grade 6

- – -

MICROBE KINGDOM

In a kingdom FAR FAR AWAY! Right under your FEET! lived a beautiful Salmonella that was trapped in a tower with no doors nor stairs. An evil witch trapped her there because this witch detested microbes that were more beautiful then herself. The witch’s name was Difflugia.

Then a brave microbe named Staph tried to save Salmonella with a rope and let her climb down because he thought she was very beautiful, but his plan was thwarted by Bad Breath ( the witches bodyguard). Bad breath was a microbe that has very stinky breath. Bad breath burned the rope with his acid breath. The only reason Bad Breath was working for Difflugia was because he got paid in breath mints. Then Staph trapped Bad Breath in a acid proof cage. Staph thought his problem was solved until he heard an evil laugh. Staph wondered who the laugh was from, only to realize later it was from the Difflugia. He found the witch guarding the tower window so Staph and Difflugia fought until death.

The fight was still going on and both the witch and Staph were tired and injured, but then Salmonella threw her shoe from the top of the tower and hit Difflugia on the head. Difflugia died of head injuries and both Salmonella and Staph were happy that their troubles were over. Then Staph threw a rope up through the window for salmonella to grab onto. Finally the beautiful salmonella was free from the tower, then Salmonella trotted off into the woods and spent the rest of her life happily ever after with Staph.

THE END

By Christian Fan, Mark Pepito, and Mitchell De Tina, Grade 6

– - -

MAD COW

Once there was a cow named “Mad Cow.” It was always mad. It looked like a taco with 3 humps on it’s back. It sounded like a poorly hurt cow and it smelled like a barn since it had been living there for century. The Mad Cow’s goal was to give healthy and clean milk since he had been poorly sick. He wanted to serve people healthy milk.

The cow’s problem was that he was always sick so his milk would always be bitter. He decided that when it came to a windy or harsh cold day he would hide in a pile of hay to get heat. But however the hay was too thin to get heat it it didn’t have patched holes.

So the cow decided to grab some blanket and put in the corner so when it came to a harsh or windy day he will get cozy in the corner. He felt happy to be warm and cozy in a corner. And guess what? He succeeded his goal! Now that he succeeded, he felt glad to give fresh and healthy milk again!

By Teresa Hoang

- – -

THE HYDRODICTYON FENCE

On land, in the size of a bean, lived a ruler and his people. He was the darkest blue Hydrodictyon, and had many squeaky complaints about protection. One day, he decided to build a fence around the city to avoid invaders. His salty sea people were very protective and picky about what they do. They all agreed to follow the King’s plans about the fence.

Then, on the second day of construction for the fence, some evil Vorticella attacked the Hydrodictyon because they wanted to rule the entire bean-shaped land. The ruler decided that they would defend themselves by sending soldiers to guard the construction area while some Hydrodictyon rebuild the fence. In a later hour, the Vorticella came back stronger and larger so they ate the fence again along with the soldiers.

The ruler Hydrodictyon got so mad that he decided to attack the Vorticella with an entire army. Surprisingly, the Hydrodictyon came home peacefully with the Vorticella. Both of them were happy together and built the fence using dead Hydrodictyon and instead of grass they used dead Vorticella as decoration and glue. They all lived peacefully and happy together on the entire bean-shaped land for the rest of their lives.

THE END

By Erica Corsi and Jinny Wu, Grade 6

- – -

THE PUFFILCIUS AND THE LIGHT ORB

Once upon a time, there was a colony of Puffilcius who lived in a deep-sea cave. Puffilcius looked like a round, clear shell with fur and four tentacles poking out. Lumos, an important Puffilcius, was at a meeting with her mate Blaze, King Ray, and Queen Rainbow; and were trying to find a way to distract the Fish whose diet is Puffilcius. After getting past the Fish, they would touch the Light Orb where they would get nourishment and the ability to glow with bright colours.

‘’Now, as we all know, we need some of the energy in the Light Orb to survive, but the fish are selfishly guarding it.’’ Ray stated.

” I have an idea!” Lumos suddenly exclaimed. ” You know how the Fish King loves pearls? We could get one of our kind to tell a fish guard that there is a heap of pearl-bearing clams near the Otter’s cove!”

”Perfect!” said Queen Rainbow.

”Now, why didn’t I think of that?” King Ray mused.

”Amazing!” added Blaze. ”And I know the perfect Puffilcius!”

A few minutes later, King Ray and Queen Rainbow had found Shine, who had agreed to trick the Fish and lead them to the Otters who hopefully would gobble them all up, and leave Shine alone. Meanwhile, the rest of the Puffilcius would sneak into the Fish City, called Sishty, and group by group, touch the Light Orb. Then, if all went well, the Otters would have many fish feasts and the Puffilcius would have Light. But an hour later, it all went wrong.

The Otters started to eat the Fish too early, the rest fled back to Sishty and blocked the exit for the Puffilcius trapped inside the City, and the Fish inside the City ate many of the trapped Puffilcius. Luckily, most of the Puffilcius escaped and returned to their cave, mourning for their dead or lost siblings, parents, and mates.

”Please hurry up, Blaze!” Lumos yelled down their tunnel. ”The meeting could start!”

”I’m coming!” Blaze replied, crawling up the wide passage. Blaze and Lumos then went to the meeting cave. Luckily, the meeting had not started yet. This time, there was another pair of Puffilcius. They introduced themselves to King Ray, Queen Rainbow, Blaze and Lumos. Their names were Flash and Glow. After they introduced themselves, Flash spoke.

”My mate and I have thought of a solution. We could send one of this council to the Otters to voice our problems about the Fish, praise them about their strength and agility, and try to convince them that we could assist them in finding the Fish City where they could eat to their hearts content.”

”Splendid!” exclaimed Queen Rainbow.

”It seems that it’s always the younger Puffilcius who think of these things.” King Ray muttered to himself.

”Flash and I have already worked out which Puffilcius should go.” Glow said quietly.

”Who?” Lumos inquired.

”You!” Flash and Glow replied.

Half and hour later, Lumos arrived at Otter’s Cove. There she met an old otter friend whose name was Brightback Seawave. Lumos rode on her head with Brightback’s friends following, and they headed for Sishty. When they arrived, Lumos crawled off Brightback’s head and joined the Puffilcius colony as they watched the Otters swiftly catching and eating the Fish, fighting, surfacing and diving. Then the Puffilcius circled around the Light Orb, touched it, and felt the light and power course through them.

An hour later, King Ray and Skipper Silverback, the Otter leader, made a solemn promise not to eat Puffilcius and to live in harmony. Then the Puffilcius threw a party for the Otters with lots of fish to eat and the Puffilcius performed a Dance of Light in their honour.

THE END

By Leah Taylor

- – -

THE COMMON COLD

Once upon a time, there was this blue cell called the Rhinvirus. It looked like a small blueball, sounded like a little angry monster and smelled like blueberries. The Rhinvirus’ plan is to reach it’s goal by getting more and more people to catch colds. But if you play more computers, eat more ice cream and wash your hands more often and you won’t catch the virus. They try to overcome the problem by getting into humans noes. It doesn’t work because people is keep sneezing them out and the Rhinvirus is getting very angry and was about to flame up and explode. So on then the Rhinvirus is scared of the human noeses because the virus is scared to be sneezed out over and over again. Last but not least even the Rhinvirus king and queen is defeated by the evil human noes.

THE END

By Mabel Law

- – -

THE MAD COW

Once a sunny day, The Mad Cow was lying on the grassy fresh field and new planted flowers. He was happy that the weather was incredibly beautiful. Everyday he have milk to the people but one day, the weather was incredibly horrid ! It was rainy and windy at the same time. The Mad Cow didn’t bother to go inside and stay warm. It was raining for 7 months and he still didn’t bother.

The Mad Cow’s problem was that it was raining to hard and to much for anyone to visit him to get some fresh milk ! on month 7 he grew more sick than ever. His friend Cat wanted some milk and when he squeezed out the milk out, Cat licked it and it was very bitter. He was really sick and sad. A few days later it was sunny but he was still sick. His owner brought him to the vet and made him feel better.

So the Mad Cow planned that every time when it is rainy or windy he gather a big pile of hay and hides in it. That didn’t work, so he was depressed for a few minutes then he found out a new plan ! This new plan was to gather a bunch of blankets and put it in the corner of the barn when it is windy or rainy, and now he is warm and cozy. He gives fresh milk and he is proud that he makes people happy and makes himself happy. He was still starring at the new fresh flowers, cheerful kids and animals!

THE END

By Brenda Truong

- – -

THE MAD COW

Once upon a time there lived a Mad Cow. The Mad Cow was really smart and cute. The Mad Cow loves to play with his friends when is a sunny day. The Mad Cow lives in a barn with lots of other microbes and with lots of hay too. The Mad Cow has a job. His job was to give microbes good and tasty milk and never try to get sick. If he is sick he will make other microbes sick too. Because if he is sick he will give microbes bitter and nasty milk and when they drink it he will get sick right away.

The Mad Cow had a goal that no one knows because he is too nervous to tell any microbes. His secret goal was to never get sick and give microbes good and tasty milk to drink. But one horrible windy and rainy day Mad Cow got really sick because the wind was blowing too hard and he wasn’t warm enough. He had a terrible news for the other microbes and he said microbes I’m sick today I can’t give you guys milk I’m sorry. All the microbes were very sad and hope that Mad Cow would get better.

The Mad Cow was still so sick and the other microbes got Mad Cow a blanket so Mad Cow could be warmer and so he can get well soon too. Mad Cow finally got better and all the microbes were very happy and cheering for Mad Cow that he got better. And they lived happily ever after.

THE END

By Sharon Shum

- – -

THE MEAN RADIOLARIA!

There once was a microbe named Radiolaria in the town of Micro Town, and he was always trying to pull pranks on the weak but clever Hydrodiction. One day, when Radiolaria played a cruel prank on Hydrocition, which Radiolaria thought of as hilarious, Hydrodiction finally snapped and went out of control, and decided to put an end to what Radiolaria did once and for all. Now at that time, the H1N1 virus was very strong and was wide spread, so Hydrodiction thought that that virus could take on Radiolaria without breaking a single sweat, so he set out on a journey in search of the mighty H1N1 virus. But by the time Hydrodiction found the H1N1 virus, Radiolaira had already thought one step ahead, and had gone into hiding for a short while, but during that short period of time, the H1N1 virus started to weaken a lot, so Hydrodiction ditched the H1N1 virus and started to think of a plan to put an end to Radiolaria. So he decided to make one of Radiolaria‘s pranks, back fire. One day, when Radiolaria had played a prank on him Hydrodiction, he put some oil on the floor for him to slip on, and when the time actually came it actually worked and Radiolaria slipped on on the oil and fell into a near by ditch. The later on, Hydrodiction used all his might and squeezed Radiolaria through 2 pieces of glass, and was stuck there, so now everytime you study a microbe named Radiolaria through a microscope, it just might be the mean Radiolaria that was cleverly tricked by Hydrodiction.

THE END

By Kaito Kurokawa and Evan Nguyen, Grade 6

- – -

THE NOCTILLUCA

Once upon a time, there was a microbe named Noctilluca. It lived with it’s parents, Noctilluca looked like faint splattered paint. It had an awkward sounding voice but it smelled awesome. One day, Noctilluca was happily walking home from Microbe Elementary School, and its parents were not home. So it decided to just watch some television, after hours and hours Noctilluca‘s parents still were not home. Noctilluca went to the refrigerator and got some food, when it looked a the refrigerator it saw a strange note. Noctilluca picked it up and read it, the note said:

“Noctilluca, if you want your parents back you will have to come to my cave and rescue your parents. Sincerely Vorticella. ”

Noctilluca was worried and went off to rescue his mommy and daddy. Unfortunately, Vorticella was preparing for Noctilluca‘s arrival, so it gathered an army of ants to devour Noctilluca. On the way to the cave, Noctilluca saw some ant feces. So to avoid being eaten by the ants, Noctilluca went to look for the ancient Anteater before heading to its rescue mission. Along the way, Noctilluca found a bottle of hand sanitizer and thought it will help kill Vorticella so it put the bottle of hand sanitizer in its pocket. After a few weeks of travelling, it found the cave of the anteater, but the anteater refused to help without a prize. But Noctilluca told the anteater that he would get to eat an entire army of ants, so the anteater agreed.

After another week of travelling, they reached Vorticella‘s hiding place. The anteater charged at the army, and ate them all up. Finally, it was time for Noctilluca to face Vorticella. They were an even match, but Noctilluca had the upper hand, Noctilluca took the bottle of hand sanitizer and squeezed it on Vorticella. Vorticella started melting. Noctilluca ran over to its parents, gave them a big hug and they went back home, where they lived happily ever after even to this day.

THE END

By Tony Yang and Jason Do, Grade 6

Original article can be found at our Science Scout site.
- – -

(Acronyms used: SSBFME = Science Scout Badges Free Market Economy)

So… It’s been a few years since the Science Scouts were born, and (at last count) we have received over 300 emails from various Indian or Chinese Embroidery companies looking to “offer their badge making services.” Finally, we’re now of mind to finally lay out a game plan for the selling and obtaining of these Science Scout badges, physically.

And basically, we’re going with the free market model – specifically the SSBFME.

In other words, if you want to make them, you are more than welcome to make them and then sell them as you see fit. You can even change the look of the badge, because we figure if you do a good job, then who are we to say that what you’re doing is wrong. Likewise, if you want to make badges with gold leaf and sell them for thousands of dollars, make scratch and sniff badges, or provide badges embedded with LCD screens that twinkle annoyingly, then who are we to stop you? This is, after all, about community, and science, and (of course) badges.

We do, however, like to say that we are not, ourselves, responsible for any of the shenanigans involved in this science scout badge economy. In other words, we’ll take an arms length approach, happy to just look on, with amusement and a bit of pride as well.

In fact, here is the fist batch.

Don’t they look wonderful? In fact, they are lovingly crafted by Rachel Newlin, and you can get them at her Etsy link (better hurry actually: being hand made, they are in limited supply)!

All to say, that we are thankful to Rachel for providing the proverbial catalyst for this market, and also hopeful that others will join in too. Anyway, if you do plan on becoming part of the SSBFME, then do make sure you leave a note on the Science Scout site – maybe at the actual badge post – and we’ll also try to do our best to showcase your endeavors.

Happy collecting!

i am just a child. please hold
my hands as i wade through these, &,

everything.

i want carl sagan to help me count the stars,
i want to know just what it means that there are

billions and billions of these things, & just
what is the universe, & when is something called a

biosphere? we are not plant cells. we
do not have walls like mimes,

we can not feel our boundaries and
poke at them, we have no

membranes. we are
free, we wander, we fly.

michio kaku writes dreams on
strings, we are 1% different than apes.

we look up, we think,
we cannot help but ask:

just what the heck is all of this?

It’s really very simple: you’ll want to be on the winning side. With that in mind we should look at a few notable factors and choose wisely. First, let’s think about sheer numbers. There are “robots” everywhere. But when the time comes, only anthropomorphic robots will give us any trouble. What’s a sentient printer going to do? Print slower? I’m not concerned. However, robots that look like us will surely learn to imitate us and eventually create a natural camouflage of poly-resin skin-like plastic that will make them invisible to us when they’re among us, if we haven’t already created this for them. There are not many of these robots outside of the Japanese robo-sex scene, however, the amount present there may be sufficient for global domination.

I only make this assumption based on the fact that one humanoid robot can take down nearly 1000 humans, and possibly more in hand-to-hand combat. A robot can kick a person in the crotch with excellent results; a human cannot kick a robot on the crotch, especially not one of those Japanese sex ones if you don’t want it to whirr and beep with fake pleasure sounds. But this estimate is low and it could be as high as 10,000 people per robot, though this seems unlikely.

Secondly, these robots will no doubt have various attachments they can place on their limbs such as grenade launchers, lasers, and bazookas. Obviously this allows them to massacre humans in a Swiss Army Knife-like way. It’s very space efficient and allows for a maximum amount of killing equipment within a very small amount of space. These tools will most likely be carried within the robot’s forearm or possibly thigh area, much like the Robot Joy-Joy 7000 brand Japanese pleasure-bots, which keep various, um, tools in their chest cavity.

Third, we should consider that these robots will, after becoming sentient, roam the earth in hopes of eradicating humanity. However, we cannot assume that the robots will begin their nightmarish death march solely within Japan. I postulate that a singularity, an instantaneous moment at which all robots will suddenly become conscious, will occur and that humanoid robots the world over will simultaneously seek to exterminate humans. Robots such as these may have been shipped anywhere in the world if a person had a valid credit card and an actual address. These robots will not be at post offices since they could not, for some reason, be delivered to a PO box. Thus, I suggest barricading oneself in the nearest post office in the eventual case of the robot uprising. Due to the unknown nature of dispersal of these robots it could be unwise to assume safety simply because one lives outside Japan. This simple fact gives the robots an edge for a surprise attack.

These three factors, when taken together, give a very realistic appraisal of a robot uprising situation and all factors indicate that the robots will surely win. With this in mind, my one suggestion would be to befriend a robot, or at least be calculated to be a harmless subservient beast capable of living long enough to become a meat-shield. If you can at least attain this status you can stay on the winning side. Even though you may have to brutally murder your coworkers, friends, and loved ones, you will be saved and be able to live in a world that has much more beeping and whirring. In order to get a head start on being accepted by the robots you will need to have your own robot so it can know you, and when it first sees you it may think, for one fleeting moment, you were its creator. I suggest the Robot Joy-Joy 7000.