By Colin Nissan

Colin is a humor writer and frequent contributor to McSweeney's and The New Yorker. When he isn't writing humor, he's writing ads as a freelance copywriter, or reading ads out loud as a voice actor.

A CLIMATE CHANGE DENIER GETS HEATSTROKE

I’m fine, I just need a sip of water. Can I do that without sounding the climate-change alarms? There are four seasons, you guys. Summer’s the hot one. Always has been. I’m just a little thirsty. And, like, a teeny bit dizzy. You can split hairs all you want with statistics about temperatures steadily rising each year, or you can spare me the factual histrionics and start enjoying a little summer fun. I’m having such a good time that my head’s actually pounding with the pulse of summer. Really pounding. That’s strange, I actually feel kind of cold all of…