(Because it’s also the International Year of Astronomy, over the next few weeks, we are happy to present a few reprinted funny pieces that relate to this business of space – Enjoy!) Are you doomed? There’s only one way to find out, and that’s to consult a colour-coded chart. Take, for example, the Torino Scale, which astronomers use to express the likelihood of an asteroid hitting the Earth. Asteroid impacts are believed to be responsible for several mass extinctions – just ask the dinosaurs (oh wait, you can’t) – and it’s only a matter of time until another killer rock…
The Science Creative Quarterly
By mikerichardsonbryan
Mike Richardson-Bryan used to be a lawyer, but he`s all better now. No, really. His work has appeared on McSweeney`s Internet Tendency, Yankee Pot Roast, Opium, The Big Jewel, and Cracked.com. He lives in Ottawa with one wife and two dogs.
DEAR DR. EVIL
Dr. Evil 1 Mount Lee Lane, Griffith Park Los Angeles, CA 90027 Dear Dr. Evil, I am writing to inform you of the revocation, effective immediately, of your admitting privileges to Los Angeles General Hospital. Before I go on, allow me to stress how much we appreciate your considerable contribution to the hospital’s recent fundraising efforts. I still do not know how you managed to persuade the International Monetary Fund to donate a ‘gazillion’ dollars towards the construction of our new long-term care facility, an act of generosity even more impressive coming so soon after the mysterious destruction of their…
DEATH FROM ABOVE: THE TORINO SCALE AND YOU
(Congratulations are in order for Mike, our winner of the science humour writing plus caption contest!) Are you doomed? There’s only one way to find out, and that’s to consult a colour-coded chart. Take, for example, the Torino Scale, which astronomers use to express the likelihood of an asteroid hitting the Earth. Asteroid impacts are believed to be responsible for several mass extinctions – just ask the dinosaurs (oh wait, you can’t) – and it’s only a matter of time until another killer rock gets lucky. So check the Torino Scale regularly and act accordingly. Threat Level: Green No likelihood…
PRODUCT MANUAL OF THE FUTURE: THE DEATH RAY
Congratulations on your purchase of a genuine ZapCo D-99 Death Ray. Please read these instructions thoroughly and carefully before handling, operating, or servicing your death ray. Careless or incorrect use of a death ray could result in serious injury. Message from the President Hello, fellow death ray enthusiast. You’ve made the right choice with the D-99, the modern standard in small arms particle beam weaponry. The D-99 is ideal for hunting, home defense, sport shooting, and even frontline combat. Indeed, the D-99 has seen service in every major military action of the past 25 years, from Gulf War IV to…