1. Switch birdfeeders from nuclear to solar. 2. Fill in backyard Superfund pit with cement. 3. Paint cement over Superfund pit green, with cute little flower designs. 4. Adopt one of the polar bears at the zoo (the one that doesn’t look so scraggly). 5. Print out a picture of Al Gore and pin it to something. 6. Get rid of the corpses. 7. Wash dishes by hand, with sand. 8. Will make a Styrofoam replica of the Earth and hang it on the front porch (will pin Al Gore’s picture on it). 9. Will walk to Walmart to get…

Commemorating the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing – – – I have assembled my core team members for the return to, and primary colonization of the Moon. I believe that the multi-disciplinary nature of the core team will afford the highest chances of lunar survival. Both human and engineering challenges have factored into my choices. Lunar comedian: I have chosen Maria Welfarr as my lunar team comedian. Maria’s offbeat humor and simple magic tricks will engender a healthy community environment in the lunar colony. Lunar teenager: I have chose Mark Salacey, son of Will and Beth Salacey, as…

The long awaited and multiply postponed 6th Edition of Ezra Pound’s “On Biochemistry” continues the tradition of the previous five editions by costing far more than one would reasonably imagine such a book should cost. This is the fourth edition of the text published since Pound’s death, and thus also continues the biochemistry publishing industry’s penchant for postmortem publishing. Although Pound’s poetry and prose are stunningly beautiful, they serve as poor conduits for the conveyance of complex biochemical concepts such as oxidative phosphorylation or the citric acid cycle. The raw emotion of the reproduced hand drawings is nice, but they…

The recent popularity of math and science based plays and movies, such as “Proof”, “A Beautiful Mind”, and “Copenhagen”, has catalyzed the recovery of lost plays from famous mathematicians and scientists themselves. Below is the complete text of “To Teach the Calculus,” which was recently “recovered” from the notebooks of Max Planck. After winning his Nobel Prize in 1918 for work in radiation physics, Planck explored a variety of other fields. This is his only known foray into the theater. Planck had a reputation as a difficult and demanding teacher among the students at the University of Berlin, and several…

And lo, it came to be that God was sitting around in his Lazy-God recliner one quiet millennium, and He sayeth unto His Godlike self: “God is bored and needs some entertainment.” And lo, God created the Earth and all it’s inhabitants without getting up from the Lazy-God chair, even whence God needed the occasional short beer break while working, still He did not leave His chair, but simply reached into His Almighty Demi-God Fridge which He always keepeth beside the Lazy-God chair. Late in the week, as one Godlike afternoon twinkled into evening, God looketh down upon His new…