From archive

THE LAB CULTURE: A TRUE SCIENTIFIC HORROR STORY

My first co-op placement was in a research lab, four and a half thousand kilometres away from my home university. For the first week or so, it was like taking a really intense lab for a university class, except the prof was just judging me instead of grading me. He would ask me questions to probe my knowledge and get me to think hard about things, but the environment and topic were so new that this usually just made me feel silly and lost. I did learn things, but not very quickly. Soon enough, I was set up to do…

NucSh REGULATES NECESSARY NUCLEIC SHRINKAGE FOR GENOME SWAP IN POLYJUICE POTION

Annals of Praetachoral Mechanics (2016). Vol 2. Advanced online publication. download pdf ABSTRACT This study provides further investigations into the wizarding potion known commonly as the Polyjuice potion; and specifically to assess the contribution of the known fluxweed protein, NucSh. NucSh has been previously shown, via co-immunoprecipitation experiments, to be part of the PhageCrux Complex, which in turn appears to be key for many major transformative magic related properties. Other studies have also shown that the principle factor of this Auror favorite is possibly related to a symbiotically absorbed and retained bacteriophage present in Lacewing flies (Borage et al, 2009).…

10 QUESTIONS I HAVE FOR SCIENCE

1. In the not-too-distant future, a tree will fall in the forest. Is there any chance it will have been knocked over by some kind of rampaging robot? 2. When the world’s armies are finally equipped with laser rifles, how difficult will it be for a civilian to get his hands on one, and do you think it would totally blow up a squirrel or just burn a hole in it? 3. Hypothetical situation: a gigantic black hole is about to swallow the Earth. All human life is doomed. Question: would you happen to know any women who don’t want…

THE CELL-ECTION: ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

It’s election time! Whether discussed in casual conversations or featured in heated arguments, the campaign trail is one that many have followed. The highly anticipated day when voters take to the polls will ultimately lead to huge changes on a number of fronts. The major parties have advertised their platforms on many occasions and statistics suggest leaders remain in a close race. With polls revealing no indication of a sure winner, the leaders are undoubtedly seeking to appeal to undecided voters. We now begin live coverage of tonight’s final debate in this year’s Cell-ection. – – – Moderator: The leaders…

REALISTIC INDIANA JONES MOVIES

Indiana Jones and tomb that had already been looted by robbers in the 19th century Indiana Jones and pottery fragment #1478 Indiana Jones and the site discovered under somebody’s house so there was no way to actually dig it Indiana Jones and the famous treasure that actually turned out to be an ancient chamber pot Indiana Jones and the temple of maybe three damaged columns Indiana Jones and the Intro to Archaeology class for students that don’t give a shit and just want to pass for general education credit – – – (Originally published at Commander of Trash)

HIPPOPOTAMUS

Many years ago, a hippopotamus decided to learn typing. As you may imagine, the task was difficult and discouraging. The hippopotamus however was unusually persistent. First she learned the parts of the typewriter, then she studied all available typing manuals, (even one for an antique which had neither name nor function in any western language; It could best be likened to a linotype machine which set type for haiku poetry in Japanese.) and finally she enrolled in a good secretarial school. In spite of her diligence, there were some practical difficulties; in fact so many that the best of her…

CANCER IMMUNOTHERAPY: A BRIEF INTRODUCTION

Over the past few decades, cancer therapy has advanced in leaps and bounds. Despite this improvement (and also spurred on by it), scientists and researchers are constantly looking for newer and better ways to treat cancer patients. Traditionally, cancer patients are treated with chemotherapy, radiation therapy or surgery. Chemotherapy is a treatment that uses drugs and radiation therapy uses high energy waves to kill cancer cells. However, both treatments don’t only affect cancer cells. They can be extremely toxic and have many severe side effects, as they are systemic treatments, meaning that they can affect cells all over the body,…

DONALD TRUMP WRITES A SCIENCE GRANT

Principal Investigator: Trump, Donald. Title: The Best Biology Aims: Do a lot of things and see what happens. Background and Significance: I did very well in school. I learned a lot of things. Innovation: We will do a lot of things that have never been done before, and then we will do them again. Research Strategy: We will do genetics of really important plants and animals – not minerals, we won’t do minerals. We will produce a lot of data, a lot. Big data. Ten thousand more than everyone else. Summary: Trust me, we will do it. It will be…