“But the whole session is based on your thesis topic!”

“Meh.”

“Uh-huh… Right… Look: I just took a job at [name of giant pharmaceutical company removed]. I really don’t care any more.”

“Yes, this is the same suit as yesterday. When a guy pulls down about 12k annually, how many suits do you expect him to have?”

“…and so which genes are activating this phenotype?

“Well, we identified the candidates by integrating the results from a variety of different platforms and cross-referencing those results with the available clinical data.”

“Uh-huh, and the actual genes are…?”

“They’re responsible for a variety of key cellular processes commonly associated with this disease.”

“I see. You’re not going to tell me the gene names, are you?”

“I’m not allowed.”

“…and their free pens have flashing lights in them!”

“The font on your poster is quite small, I can’t quite read it.”

“Mission accomplished.”

Graduate student: “Please, take my card.”

“This is an email address on a napkin.”

“I’d prefer if you called it a serviette.”

“I really enjoyed your poster. It’s nice to see that your findings so precisely mirror the ones we published in Science last month.”

“If I’m getting reimbursed, I’m taking a cab EVERYWHERE!”

“Did you ever wonder why don’t they call it ‘the PCR’?”

“Okay, so how does your study of pancreatic cancer pertain to my field of expertise, which is pipettor ergonomics?”