| | PART I OF VI
JULY 11, 2005
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| || || || | DESPARATELY SEEKING A MATE FOR GROVER.
By Angela Genusa
Concerned over the failing health of Grover, PBS is in a frantic search for a mate for the rare blue species. Grover is presently in poor health. It is, incidentally, the country's lone blue Grover held in captivity.
The rare animal is caged in a pen inside the muppet animal research center in Alexandria, Va., and has been for the past 36 years since his birth. For reasons shrouded in mystery, Grover has shunned mating since he attained adulthood.
PBS sources said muppet personnel are actively considering finding a suitable match for Grover, preferably of a blue category, from the muppet research center. A proposal to this effect is shortly being sent to PBS headquarters after experts gave the nod to the proposal in order to better the health of the animal and preserve the species.
It has also been planned to shift the captive species from the present habitat to a more spacious area within a special sanctuary.
A muppet research officer said that 36-year-old Grover, hatched and bred by the muppet research center as part of a muppet conservation program, will be given the utmost care in the sanctuary pen.
Things have reached tragic proportions in the past when Grover violently attacked a female partner that had been released into the pen for mating purposes. Grover almost lost its left eye in the clash with the female partner.
The captive blue species has been under constant observation during the last two years as his health deteriorated. The enigmatic Grover has also alarmed muppet personnel because he frequently skips food and water for weeks on end.
Muppet personnel had earlier contemplated a release into the wild, after which an intense round of public scutiny from wildlife conservationists ensued. However, the proposal was ultimately shelved after apprehensions were voiced that competing organisms might assault the lovable and furry Grover.
Angela Genusa is a writer, poet and artist whose work has been published online at McSweeneys, Yankee Pot Roast, Opium Magazine, The Black Table, and many places in print. Her father is a physicist and her mother, a chemistry major. She thinks Steve Martin solved all of the mysteries of the universe when he wrote about "Schrödinger's Cat," "Wittgenstein's Banana," "Apollo's Non-Apple Non-Strudel," and "Chef Boyardee's Bungee Cord" (which begins, "A bungee cord is hooked at one end to a neutrino, while the other end is hooked to a vibraphone...").
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