| PART II OF VI
JULY 25, 2005
please:
pontificate
educate
illustrate
commentate (oh yeah)
and/or submit
by emailing us at tscq@interchg.ubc.ca
Remember: four more SCQ parts to get your piece in and win an iPod!
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A FEW TIPS ON WRITING GOOD SCIENCE LITERATURE.
Go out on a limb. Don’t be afraid to use the words, “Uranus”, “friction” and/or “sperm” vicariously.
In your story, it is good to insert either the line “Now, at last, we can save the world!,” or “Dear God. What have I done?” For extra conflict, insert both.
Be aware that the majority of the Elements in the Periodical Table end in “ium.” This makes rhyming really easy.
Sex, drugs, blood and guts – really now, this is just an invitation to write about mate selection, pharmaceuticals, and anatomy.
When in doubt, chemists are the bad guys, physicists are the good guys, and biologists are generally the ones with the best cleavage.
Bacteria make good antagonists. Plus, they are literally everywhere - this only adds to their aura as an awesome force to be reckon with.
If you plan on using the “=” symbol, please be certain that the two sides are indeed equivalent. If they’re not, mathematicians will be irked, which to be honest, means that nothing else will happen.
Try using Boolean logic in your plot lines. Bonus marks if you can also use the word Boolean in your plot line. Extra extra bonus marks if your plot line can be express as a y=mx+b equation.
And finally, for the love of all that is good, please no articles on Scientology.
<please submit your efforts to tscq@interchange.ubc.ca>
WEALTH AS A CANCER RISK
By David Secko
Wealth can bring a lot of things to a family and new research is suggesting such things are not always good.
One of these is childhood leukemia.
Although rare overall, leukemia is one of the most common potentially fatal illnesses that can befall a child, and a new study completed at the BC Cancer Agency in Vancouver is revealing that a high socioeconomic status can raise the risk of this disease by as much as 14% in Canada.
<more>
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO DRESS YOUR MONKEY?
By Benjamin Cohen
Every year, upwards of tens of tens of assistant primatology researchers exchange cutting edge data retrieval techniques, field-based observation protocols, and daring new pants-and-jacket combos at their annual meeting. Usually a coastal locale, San Diego or Stamford, CT, the meetings are a veritable meat market for new blood. The cattle call of interviews is so famous it’s infamous, aspiring primatology assistants stacking their cv’s with just that many untraceable unpaid internship listings and five-letter acronyms.
<more>
INTRODUCTION TO QUANTUM THERMO-EPISTEMOLOGY
By T.J. Nelson
This manuscript describes some of our recent findings in the exciting new field of quantum thermo-epistemology, a branch of implausibility theory dealing with fundamental questions such as:
* Why does toast always land butter-side down?
* Why do cars break down only when you need to go somewhere in an emergency?
* Why do banks only lend money to people who don't need it?
<more>
SYSTEMS BIOLOGY: AN OVERVIEW
By Mario Jardon
Milestones in DNA research
The discovery of DNA structure in 1953 was the starting point of a real scientific and cultural revolution, the ending of which is difficult to predict. The discovery and use of enzymes that copy, cut and join DNA molecules in cells was the next step in this revolutionary course. The development of two major techniques contributed further to this already vertiginous process: the manual DNA sequencing method, which appeared in 1975, and the discovery of the polymerase chain reaction (PCR) in 1985, which allows the million-fold amplification of DNA sequences.
<more>
A REVIEW OF "YOUR DISGUSTING HEAD.".
By David Ng
In Norway, you say “buse.”
As a geneticist, I am a lot more familiar with the concept of snot than one might suspect. And although this may appear to be a sort of an odd soundbite, it can be quickly explained by the simple fact that pure genomic DNA, isolated from any and all variety of nature’s participants, will actually take on the appearance of the stuff you might see dripping out of an infant’s nose. I even call it “boogery,” which delights me to no end as an educator who is privilege enough to impart wisdom to audiences ranging from scientific heads of departments to priests to politicians to graduate students to lawyers and (best of all) to 11 year olds.
<more>
SATIRE, SYRACUSE, AND SEA-LEVELS
Mike Rivers-Bowerman
I am an avid reader of The Onion. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about please be rest assured that I’m not some sort of weirdo who looks for messages in tea leaves and the like. Perhaps the name of a vegetable is a rather unusual choice for a satirical periodical, although I would have to disagree with anyone who felt that any prior publications of this genre had set lasting precedents. The more absurd the name is the better, and as we all know, absurdity is inherent to human existence. To clarify this thought I will kindly refer you to Scientologist actors with the surname of Cruise and to pop stars who don’t know when to call it a day with the plastic surgery. Thankfully, such selfless individuals provide us with an abundance of high quality entertainment. If we feel like having a good laugh at their expense, might as well do so while reading an oddly named, hilarious publication. The Onion it is. <more>
ELSEWHERE AND OVERHEARD
By Caitlin Dowling
Overheard
“They rise vertically and backwards, so if you come from behind you have a much better chance."
Robin Wooton, an expert in insect biomechanics, on how to swat a fly effectively! (The Guardian)
“We found no association between levels of mental ability and reported happiness, which is quite surprising because intelligence is highly valued in our society,”
Alan Gow at Edinburgh University, whose research proves that intelligence is irrelevant to a happy old age. That’s the text books in the river then… (New Scientist)
<more>
BOMBYX DISPAR
By Brian Willems
If you were to base a character
on the moth called Bombyx dispar
you could easily set your story
in Count Wodzicki's garden 1848
<more>
| | | | Issue One
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