- Hand me the abortion elixir.

- But – but Master, it has yet to finish bubbling.

- What in the Darwin?! Here, hold another burning Bible below it. It usually
takes three or four.

- But why can’t we use these perfectly suitable adult stem cells? I have an
entire briefcase right here.

- Because if we cure these diseases, then we’ll be out of business for good!
That’s why!

- I’m so glad you have no common sense.

- Yes, I am extremely arrogant. I refuse to accept anything not in a textbook.

- Dolly Almighty, did you see this fax? It’s from Hollywood. A rush order for
three thousand more designer baby arms!

- Well, this is certainly the first time I’ve supported the right to bare arms!

- Oh, Master!

- Thanks for inviting me to this science sex party.

- You’re so funny. You are my sex slave that I cloned from stem cells.

- What?! That can’t be true.

- Look at your feet. You are still standing in the petri dish.

- I’m a – I’m a clone? How did you –

- I needed but a single human hair, just like in Superman IV. Movies are
completely accurate portrayals of modern science.

- Why would you do this to me?

- Because I am a scientist and it is my job to hurt people.

- This water from the Playboy Grotto – it isn’t getting me wet.

- That’s because I made you water-resistant, so you could never be baptized!
How’s that for intelligent design!

- You scientific bastard!

- We have a situation.

- What is it?

- Well, when we were growing the soulless babies for spare parts–

- Yes?

- …

- Out with it, damn it!

- Well, we found something – something science can’t explain.

- Destroy it. Destroy it, immediately.

- But Professor Luciferre –

- Immediately.