| | PART I OF VI
JULY 11, 2005
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| || || || | PAT THE DEAN.
By Eric Schulman and Caroline V. Cox
Here are Robert and Virginia.
They are interviewing for faculty positions at a small liberal arts college.
YOU can interview for a faculty position at a small liberal arts college, too.
Robert can talk with Pat the Dean about research with undergraduates.
Now YOU talk with Pat the Dean about research with undergraduates.
Virginia can give a research talk about clusters of galaxies.
Now YOU give a research talk about clusters of galaxies.
Robert can teach a class on stellar structure and interiors.
Now YOU teach a class on stellar structure and interiors.
Virginia and Robert can go out to dinner with the search committee.
Now YOU go out to dinner with the search committee.
Robert can have breakfast with the Chair of the Division of Basic Sciences and Mathematics.
Now YOU have breakfast with the Chair of the Division of Basic Sciences and Mathematics.
Virginia can meet with Pat the Geology Professor and listen to him say that he hopes to see her in the fall.
Now YOU meet with Pat the Geology Professor and listen to him say that he hopes to see you in the fall.
Robert and Virginia can fly back home and wait for news.
Now YOU fly back home and wait for news.
Virginia and Robert can read e-mail saying that the search committee didn't think they'd be a good fit for the small liberal arts college.
Now YOU read e-mail saying that the search committee didn't think you'd be a good fit for the small liberal arts college.
Robert and Virginia have no choice but to leave academia and hope that they can get jobs designing Web sites for banks.
Can YOU get a job designing Web sites for banks?
Eric Schulman is a PhD astronomer, author, and science humorist. One of his science humor articles, "The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less", has been translated into more than thirty languages and provided the inspiration for his humorous popular science book, A Briefer History of Time: From the Big Bang to the Big Mac(R). His "History of the Universe in 60 Seconds or Less" slide show can be found on the United States National Science Foundation website.
Caroline Cox is a PhD astronomer, educator, and astronomy education consultant. She was a research assistant professor of astronomy at the University of Virginia, where she studied galaxies and clusters of galaxies and taught introductory astronomy classes. Then she was an astronomy education specialist at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, where she helped develop educational materials for the Explore the Universe exhibit. She currently teaches high school physics and astrophysics.
"Pat the Dean" was first published in 1998 in the Annals of Improbable Research (volume 4, number 6, page 28).
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