During my commute home a few weeks ago, I came across an old classmate from high school. After our initial exchange of typical greetings, we customarily inquired each other about our current endeavors. I quickly learned that he obtained a Bachelor of Business Administration from Simon Fraser University and is currently working for a small company. When asked about my work/school status, I answered with my instinctive “I’m doing grad school” response. This wasn’t the first time someone met my answer with an empty stare followed by a pseudo-empathetic nod. He obviously wasn’t satisfied with my simple reply so he…
The Science Creative Quarterly
The Science Creative Quarterly (SCQ) is not a quarterly, but instead publishes new material at a non-linear rate. Currently, it is sleeping and in a sort of stasis (turpor?) It used to seek science writing of any genre, and your contribution would have involved checking out our submissions guidelines.
The Science Creative Quarterly (SCQ) has a single print edition so far (half SCQ pieces, and half fake science journal – see here for more details). Also, badges?
Stay safe everyone!
OUR DREAM AND OTHER PIECES OF MICROBIAL (VERY SMALL) FICTION
Part of our Science Creative Literary Symposia. – – – MY DREAM Hi, my name is Difflugia, and I live by the marshes. My dream is to become a world class swimmer in the microbe Summer Olympics. My older brother says I look like a tadpole because of my sleek body. I am superb at swimming, especially in races. One time, I won first place in the junior microbe swimming tournament! Although I have a bad temper, which makes me prone to smashing objects when I’m angry, people say I am generous because I help microbes that don’t have a…
INTRODUCING THE SCIENCE SCOUT BADGES FREE MARKET ECONOMY!
Original article can be found at our Science Scout site. – – – (Acronyms used: SSBFME = Science Scout Badges Free Market Economy) So… It’s been a few years since the Science Scouts were born, and (at last count) we have received over 300 emails from various Indian or Chinese Embroidery companies looking to “offer their badge making services.” Finally, we’re now of mind to finally lay out a game plan for the selling and obtaining of these Science Scout badges, physically. And basically, we’re going with the free market model – specifically the SSBFME. In other words, if you…
BILLIONS AND BILLIONS
i am just a child. please hold my hands as i wade through these, &, everything. i want carl sagan to help me count the stars, i want to know just what it means that there are billions and billions of these things, & just what is the universe, & when is something called a biosphere? we are not plant cells. we do not have walls like mimes, we can not feel our boundaries and poke at them, we have no membranes. we are free, we wander, we fly. michio kaku writes dreams on strings, we are 1% different than…
WHEN ROBOTS RISE UP AGAINST US, DO YOU KNOW WHOSE SIDE YOU’LL BE ON?
It’s really very simple: you’ll want to be on the winning side. With that in mind we should look at a few notable factors and choose wisely. First, let’s think about sheer numbers. There are “robots” everywhere. But when the time comes, only anthropomorphic robots will give us any trouble. What’s a sentient printer going to do? Print slower? I’m not concerned. However, robots that look like us will surely learn to imitate us and eventually create a natural camouflage of poly-resin skin-like plastic that will make them invisible to us when they’re among us, if we haven’t already created…
AFTER COPENHAGEN: I FEAR CORRESPONDENCE OF THIS SORT WAS SENT.
“In stark contrast to its cuddly international image, Canada is the dirty old man of the climate world – missing its Kyoto emissions reduction target by a country mile (by 2007, it was 34% above its target) and showing no signs of reigning in its profligacy.” The Guardian, November 30, 2009 – – – >Jimbo, What the hell is going on? Copenhagen was a freaking fiasco! What happened? And how is Mr. Environment Minister going to do to fix it? Stevie (The PM). – – – >Steve buddy! O.K. We have a plan. A couple of things actually. Most of…
MY EARTH DAY RESOLUTIONS
1. Switch birdfeeders from nuclear to solar. 2. Fill in backyard Superfund pit with cement. 3. Paint cement over Superfund pit green, with cute little flower designs. 4. Adopt one of the polar bears at the zoo (the one that doesn’t look so scraggly). 5. Print out a picture of Al Gore and pin it to something. 6. Get rid of the corpses. 7. Wash dishes by hand, with sand. 8. Will make a Styrofoam replica of the Earth and hang it on the front porch (will pin Al Gore’s picture on it). 9. Will walk to Walmart to get…
POSSIBLE REASONS I WOKE UP TO FIND I HAD NO LEGS THIS MORNING
Avian leg flu. God is cruel and vengeful and this is how he really spends his Sundays. There is no “God”. Nor “legs”. Someone I know was jealous of my legs and recently found a lamp containing a genie. The Heisenberg uncertainty principle argues that something that is observed is forever changed by the mere act of being observed. In laymen’s terms, it means that once you see something it’s not the way it was before you saw it. Maybe I sawed them off. Times are tough. When I threw that penny into the well and thought I was wishing…
ABHORRENT TO NATURE: NOTABLE SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTS AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES
“A pair of otherwise distinguished physicists have suggested that the hypothesized Higgs boson, which physicists hope to produce with the [Large Hadron Collider], might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple backward through time and stop the collider before it could make one…” (The New York Times) – – – In 2008, the Large Hadron Collider short-circuited, infusing the soil under the border area between Switzerland and France with over a ton of helium, and thereby causing the largely cuckoo clock-making communities along the border to inhale toxic doses of the noble gas. Many clock-makers weren’t taken…