This is the Science Creative Quarterly. In which, with respect to our name, we are as confused as you are.

COMMON SAYINGS TRANSLATED INTO SCIENTIFICALLY CORRECT STATEMENTS

By | archive, humour

COMMON: Hit the ground running.
SCIENTIFIC: Conserve momentum.

COMMON: My gut was telling me.
SCIENTIFIC: My colon speaks.

COMMON: If I had a nickel for every…
SCIENTIFIC: x times 5cents, where x equals…

COMMON: Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater
SCIENTIFIC: Avoid wet baby head trauma.

COMMON: Go the whole 9 yards.
SCIENTIFIC: Displace by 8.2296 meters.

COMMON: You are in way over your head.
SCIENTIFIC: Anatomically speaking, you are likely upside down.

COMMON: You spilled the beans.
SCIENTIFIC: Entropy went up.

COMMON: A little bird told me…
SCIENTIFIC: Whilst under the influence of psychedelic hallucinogens…

COMMON: Everything but the kitchen sink.
SCIENTIFIC: Almost, but not quite, the entire universe.

COMMON: Beating a dead horse.
SCIENTIFIC: Technically still dead.

COMMON: Break the ice.
SCIENTIFIC: Break the ice.

About David Ng

David (@ng_dave) is Faculty at the Michael Smith Labs. His writing has appeared in places such as McSweeney's, The Walrus, and also as an occasional blogger at boingboing.net. If you're looking for a graphic for your next science talk, he encourages you to check out his blog, popperfont.net.