POSSIBLE REASONS I WOKE UP TO FIND I HAD NO LEGS THIS MORNING
Avian leg flu.
God is cruel and vengeful and this is how he really spends his Sundays.
There is no “God”. Nor “legs”.
Someone I know was jealous of my legs and recently found a lamp containing a genie.
The Heisenberg uncertainty principle argues that something that is observed is forever changed by the mere act of being observed. In laymen’s terms, it means that once you see something it’s not the way it was before you saw it.
Maybe I sawed them off.
Times are tough.
When I threw that penny into the well and thought I was wishing to sleep with Heidi Klum and pleasure her in ways Seal couldn’t, I was really wishing that I would wake up with no legs whatsoever.
Five years ago, Jay Leno promised me I could keep them.
Legless guy down the hall borrowed them.
Don’t know where they went but gotta say, since they’ve been gone, no more voices!
Yeti got ’em.
Comically exaggerated case of restless leg syndrome.