Thank you all for coming. As you can clearly see, I’m no longer the person I once was. In fact, I’m no longer a person at all. Some may be tempted to call me an android. You’d be mistaken. An android is a robot with a human appearance, but when I got the chance to have my brain implanted into a robotic body, I opted for the bulky, box-like design. Why? Because, frankly, I could never stand you people and had no desire to continue looking like you. When I say “you people,” by the way, I’m not speaking of…
The Science Creative Quarterly
From November, 2006
PRACTICAL COROLLARIES TO HEISENBERG’S UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE
The Cocktail Corollary No personal opinion may be freely expressed until a preliminary assessment of the listeners’ related opinions has been completed. The Sartorial Corollary The fashion value of any wardrobe-related purchase cannot be measured by its originator. The Trailer Corollary A motion picture’s true qualities cannot be measured until a ticket has been purchased, at which point opinion of the film will exist in an indeterminate state until the credits roll or the instrumentation leaves the theatre. The Flirtation Corollary No flirtatious comment or salacious remark may be unambiguously stated before the receptiveness of its target has been confirmed.…
SCIENCE AND SCIENCE EDUCATION IN THE SOUTH
A Call to the Scientist Amongst the readers of this article, there are many who are science lovers. Although, there are also interesting, intelligent, passionate people who don’t like science at all, a few of us exist who absolutely love science. The science lovers among us speak quietly and subtly to the rest of humanity of our passion. We are a strange mysterious folk and usually a little defensive, because honesty must reveal that for most people, our world is really dull. Most will agree that science is useful; people like their electronic music and laptops and asthma inhalers but…
PAPAVER ARGEMONE
Original book source: Prof. Dr. Otto Wilhelm Thomé Flora von Deutschland, Österreich und der Schweiz 1885, Gera, Germany (see link for further details on image)
CREATINE: FROM MUSCLE TO BRAIN
Creatine is an organic molecule which was discovered in the first half of the nineteenth century, in meat extract resembling beef broth. A century later, in the first half of the twentieth century, another substance was found, this time in frog extract, being phosphocreatine – or creatine with a phosphate group stuck on it. It turned out that creatine and phosphocreatine are part of an intracellular energy management system, and the two have had a remarkable history since. I’m not alluding to the fact that around 2.5 million kg of creatine are consumed yearly by athletes in the belief that…
DAVE NG IS BOTH A SCIENTIST AND SOMEONE WHO WRITES NASTY REVIEWS ON BOOKS HE HASN’T ACTUALLY READ
“Where The Heart Is” by Billie Letts. This book sucks. Why there is a picture of a house on the front cover escapes me, but let me save you the effort of reading this crap. Your heart is sort of in between your left and right lung. “Everything Is Illuminated” by Jonathan Safran Foer. I have to say that the general premise and plot of this bore of a novel is, quite simply, horrendous. I mean how much conflict are you really going to get when the principle setting for the plot is on the surface of the sun, and…
WHAT’S THE SCOOP? A QUANTITATIVE ANALYSIS OF KELLOGG’S RAISIN BRAN
Advertisements for Kellogg’s Raisin Bran indicate that there are two scoops of raisins in every box, and two plastic scoops, along with the words “Two scoops!”, appear prominently on the front of the box. Unfortunately, a scoop is a nonstandard unit of volume, so the prevalence of raisins in the cereal remains uncertain. Moreover, Kellogg’s Raisin Bran comes in 15-, 20-, and 25.5-ounce boxes, all of which bear the “Two scoops!” claim. This observation suggests two alternative hypotheses: (A) Scoop size is independent of box size. In other words, the same scoops are used to add raisins to each box,…
LANGUAGE ACQUISITION AND “POOPIE”
The way that human beings acquire the ability to understand and use language is a hotly contested scientific question. Often the various theories have fallen on either side of the usual nature/nurture divide: are human beings born with a built-in capability to use language? Or, do we learn most of our language use through interactions with parents and other people? Noam Chomsky, arguing for the “nature” end of the answer, believes we are born possessing a language acquisition device (LAD); a part of the brain that contains most of the major principles of language. On the nurture-end of the spectrum,…
IN THE MATTER OF DR. K: A POEM CREATED SOLELY FROM PHRASES IN AN ATTORNEY’S LETTER OF APPLICATION FOR A US GREEN CARD FOR ONE OF MY FORMER STUDENTS, IN THE SAME ORDER AS THEY APPEAR IN THE LETTER.
She is a research scientist of extraordinary ability, Her abilities are extraordinary and place her at an elite level of practice. She has managed to master numerous highly complex procedures that many in her field do not. She has distinguished herself from her peers by possessing great expertise in an almost unprecedented number of specialty areas. She is one of the country’s foremost molecular biologists, The greatest factor distinguishing Dr. K in the field: Her ability to incomparably characterize and integrate, Her unique level of expertise; An integral knowledge, Crucial features. In a remarkable study, She played a leading role…