By Mike Sacks

Mike Sacks has written for Vanity Fair, Esquire, GQ, The New Yorker, Time,
McSweeney¹s, Radar, MAD, New York Observer, Premiere, Believer, Vice, Maxim, Women¹s Health, and Salon. He has worked at The Washington Post, and is currently on the editorial staff of Vanity Fair.


“The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences has decided to award the Nobel Prize in Physics to Yoichiro Nambu.”—Press Release, the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences – – – FREDDY MIND: To begin with, let me introduce myself. My name is Freddy Mind. It’s a stage name. I was once one-half of the physics duo of Freddy Mind & Yoichiro Nambu. This man to my right, he needs no introduction! Go ahead and introduce yourself, Yoshey. YOICHIRO NAMBU (softly): My name is Yoichiro Nambu, and I won the Nobel Prize for physics. MIND (laughs): When you think of good ol’ Yoshey,…