Let there be light! Let there be Heaven and Earth! Let there be mortal souls created in Mine own image, gifted with reason and free will… in a bit. First, let there be a bunch of giant fucking monsters everywhere! In My infinite wisdom, I know that populating Earth with millions of Godzillas will be awesome. Humongous monsters with silly little arms! Tiny monsters that hunt in packs! Monsters covered in bulletproof plates with spikes for tails and ocean monsters and flying monsters that terrorize the skies and HOLY SHIT THIS WILL BE VERY FUCKING COOL. Using the divine power…
The Science Creative Quarterly
From archive
NEUROTECH LIGHT AND DARK
A brain-computer interface controls her robotic arm. As easily as not thinking, she uses it to drink another shot of tequila. I feel a tic escape, as my deep brain stimulation implant remodulates its signal. But I’m not dropping my coffee anymore. The veteran’s brain implant doesn’t control his PTSD symptoms well, plus he has paranoia about mind control experiments by the government. A technician sends the telerobotic neurosurgeon a brain scan on her phone. A crack in the screen leads to the patient becoming a savant. An fMRI scanner noisily starts up. An undetected tattoo heats up from metal…
TATOOINE INTERGOVERNMENTAL PANEL ON CLIMATE CHANGE ASSESSMENT REPORT 1: SUMMARY FOR TATOOINE POLICYMAKERS
I’ve wanted to do this for a while now. In essence, for the last 5 or so years, Tatooine’s binary star system has come up as a talking point in one of my climate change science classes (yes, I’m a Star Wars fan). Basically, I use it to showcase an over-the-top example of radiative forcing.…
A CLIMATE CHANGE DENIER GETS HEATSTROKE
I’m fine, I just need a sip of water. Can I do that without sounding the climate-change alarms? There are four seasons, you guys. Summer’s the hot one. Always has been. I’m just a little thirsty. And, like, a teeny bit dizzy. You can split hairs all you want with statistics about temperatures steadily rising each year, or you can spare me the factual histrionics and start enjoying a little summer fun. I’m having such a good time that my head’s actually pounding with the pulse of summer. Really pounding. That’s strange, I actually feel kind of cold all of…
WOOKIEE FOREPLAY: TRANSGENERATIONAL EPIGENETIC REGULATION OF FORCE-SENSITIVITY BY ELABORATE DUET SONG
Just another reminder that this paper will be published in print format in the fall, along with selected SCQ pieces from the last 7 or so years. If you want to submit your creative science pieces with a mind to make the first issue of this new journal, then please visit here for more information. Annals of Praetachoral Mechanics. (2014). Vol 1. pp59-69 pdf download ABSTRACT Wookiees (W. wookiee) are monogamous, sentient mammals that have traditionally produced long and elaborate duet songs. It has been repeatedly proposed that duet mating songs for Wookiees might function to improve the fitness of…
COMMON SAYINGS TRANSLATED INTO SCIENTIFICALLY CORRECT STATEMENTS
COMMON: Hit the ground running. SCIENTIFIC: Conserve momentum. COMMON: My gut was telling me. SCIENTIFIC: My colon speaks. COMMON: If I had a nickel for every… SCIENTIFIC: x times 5cents, where x equals… COMMON: Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater SCIENTIFIC: Avoid wet baby head trauma. COMMON: Go the whole 9 yards. SCIENTIFIC: Displace by 8.2296 meters. COMMON: You are in way over your head. SCIENTIFIC: Anatomically speaking, you are likely upside down. COMMON: You spilled the beans. SCIENTIFIC: Entropy went up. COMMON: A little bird told me… SCIENTIFIC: Whilst under the influence of psychedelic hallucinogens… COMMON: Everything…
ON QUANTUM PARENTING
Many adults experience the same suffering, confusion, and joy that quantum physicists have every day. These are the parents of small children — they go through a hard time trying to understand the young, much like a physicist struggling to understand the tiny quantum mechanical systems. To start, you never know what children are thinking about. In those tiny brains, there could be the idea of pulling a naughty deed or the thought of entertaining a cute dance. Until you go and interact with them, you simply don’t know whether they will do one or the other. Children are therefore…
ANIMAL RESEARCH: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE ALTERNATIVES
Animal research is a very controversial topic that has been generating heated arguments and debates all around the world over the past few decades. Recently, there appears to be an overwhelming growth in animal right groups all over the world. Most of these groups don’t just support animal welfare, but they demand a ban on any kind of use of animals in research. At the same time, more and more pro-testing groups that support the humane use of animals in research have been forming – these proponents argue and recognize the essential role that animal research has played in medical…
TYROSINASE GENE ANALYSIS AND PHENOTYPIC COMPARISON IN WOOKIEES WITH OCULOCUTANEOUS ALBINISM TYPE 1
(This is the FOURTH paper on a special issue on Wookiee science. You can read the first here, the second here, and the third here). Annals of Praetachoral Mechanics. (2014). Vol 1. pp39-49 pdf download. ABSTRACT Tyrosinase is an enzyme in the melanin biosynthetic pathway. Previous studies have shown that a lack in enzyme activity caused by mutations in the tyrosinase gene (TYR) results in tyrosinase-negative oculocutaneous albinism (OCA1) in humans. The purpose of this study was to investigate if albino Wookiees who lack tyrosinase activity possess similar genetic defects to those seen in humans with mutations in this gene.…