The SCQ is back from the holidays, and first wants to wish you prosperous New Year. Tomorrow, we will release details of a new contest. But for today, we present our second evaluation report*, as assessed by using Google ranking techniques. As of 12AM P.S.T. January 3rd, 2006, all aforementioned phrases resulted in a number one rank.

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“bestest most kick ass”
“My t-shirt sales will be phenomenal”
“an awesome force to be reckon with”

(Not so good)
“horribly, wretchedly, and obviously stinky”
“the unicorn will gore you, the leprechaun will steal your soul and Santa Claus will eat your children”

(Not sure if it’s good or not)
“profoundly change a person’s appetite for sex”
“aliens hatch out of us at breakfast”
“lazy-ass starfish”
“elegant pencil holder and built in pencil sharpener”
“My shrubs are way better than his”

(Frankly, a bit embarrassing)
“look like rats wearing coats and sneakers”
“they took shots of me pooping”
“put your Speedos on, place a dry towel by the edge of a full pool, and cannonball away”
“laughs so hard that beer comes out of his nose”

“we need a duck that says funny lines to succeed”
“We are, in reality, pretty clueless”**

(Still an overall good sign since this was really the whole point anyway)
“science literature presented in a myriad of ways”

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* Our first evaluation report was held on September 6th, 2005 (link)
** This particular phrase, which was ranked number one in the first report, is now ranked number two according to Google. Perhaps another indication that things are looking up?