TWO GUYS WITH CREATIVE FACIAL HAIR DISCUSS THE MERITS OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT’S INVOLVEMENT IN THE TERRI SCHIAVO CASE

– FROM THE ARCHIVE –

Hey, bro.

Hey.

What’s up?

Not much. You?

Not much. Just had a burrito.

Cool.

Yeah.

Was it good?

Was what good?

The burrito.

Oh, right. Yeah, it was.

Cool.

Yep.

What kind burrito was it?

Veggie.

Cool.

Yeah, it was a pretty cool burrito, bro.

Where’d you get it?

Get what?

The burrito.

Oh, right. I got it at Gary’s party.

Gary had a party?

Yep. It just ended. Was a blast.

I didn’t hear anything about it.

You didn’t?

No.

Hmm. I was wondering why you weren’t there.

Why didn’t Gary invite me?

Oh, I’m sure he meant to invite you.

?

Probably.

What kind of party was it?

Oh, it was a cool party, bro. Gary called it a “Feeding Tube” party.

A “Feeding Tube” party?

Yep. It was awesome.

What does that mean?

What does what mean?

“Feeding Tube” party.

Oh, right. Well, you see Gary knows this guy who’s a doctor, or maybe he’s a nurse — I forget — doesn’t matter, anyway, he brought, like, all this medical stuff from his hospital and we all got feeding tubes planted in our stomachs.

You all had feeding tubes planted in your stomachs?

Yep. Still got mine. Take a look.

[Looks at feeding tube]

Pretty sweet, huh?

Yeah, it’s kind of sore right now, actually, but whatever.

You ate your veggie burrito through a feeding tube?

You know it, bro!

?

That was like the best “Feeding Tube” party I’ve ever been to.

[Knock-Knock]

Hey, bros!

Gary! My man!

Hi, Gary.

Do I know how to host a “Feeding Tube” party or do I know how to host a “Feeding Tube” party?

Bro, you are the King of “Feeding Tube” parties!

No lie, bro!

I think my invitation got lost. Sorry I couldn’t make it, Gary.

What do you mean?

Well, there must have been a mix-up because I never got an invitation to your “Feeding Tube” party.

Oh, don’t worry about it.

Okay. Cool.

You didn’t get one because I didn’t invite you.

‘Kay, bros, gotta run. Gary out!

Later, Gary!

Man, that Gary is awesome.

Why didn’t he invite me?

Invite you to what?

His “Feeding Tube” party.

Oh, right. Don’t know. You make him mad or something?

I don’t think so.

I bet he was just pulling your chain, bro.

You think?

Yep. Definitely. That Gary is a prankster.

Maybe so.

[Knock-knock]

I’m back, bros!

Gary, baby!

Forgot my gun.

Oh, yeah, it’s over there on the coffee table.

Sweet.

That was a pretty funny prank you pulled on me, Gary.

What do you mean?

Well, when you said you didn’t invite me to your “Feeding Tube” party.

Prank?

Yeah.

?

Okay, guys! Gotta split. Gary out!

Later, Gar!

Gary is the man.

So my feeding tube is starting to itch.

Take it out then.

Is it supposed to itch?

I don’t know. Just take it out.

I’m afraid to.

Oh, for godssakes. Let me do it then.

Okay.

[Grabs feeding tube]

Be gentle, bro.

[Pulls on feeding tube]

Ow!

There. It’s out.

What’s out?

The feeding tube. [Flings feeding tube on the coffee table]

Oh, right. Thanks, bro.

No problem.

Wanna go get a burrito?

Okay.

Cool.

(Images from here).