A TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
Proposition 1. The universe exhibits too much structure to have evolved by chance.
Conclusion 1. There was a creator.
Proposition 2. All things are subject to the passage of time.
Conclusion 2. The processes of the universe were in action over the time period in which it was created.
Proposition 3. Nothing, not even a God, can know the exact outcome of a situation in the universe. Moreover, the uncertainty increases with the time elapsed since the parameters of the situtation were known.
Conclusion 3. If the creator wished to make the universe precisely as he pleased, then he would need to do it rapidly.
Proposition 4. Any being which would create a universe for his pleasure is an egotistical maniac.
Conclusion 4. The creator was an egotistical maniac.
Conclusion 5. Since an egotistical maniac would want things done his way, he must have (by C3), made the universe extremely rapidly; in fact, as rapidly as possible.
Proposition 5. If a creator could effect more points of space simultaneously, then he could create the structure in the universe more rapidly.
Conclusion 6. A creator with more appendages than another could have created the universe more rapidly.
Conclusion 7. Since, by C5, the creator made the universe as rapidly as possible, he has as many appendages as possible.
Proposition 6. The universe is discrete.
Conclusion 8. There is a minimal thickness to the appendages of a creator.
Conclusion 9. A creator with thinner appendages can have more of them.
Conclusion 10. By C7 and C10, the creator had as many appendages as possible, all of minimal thickness.
Conclusion 11. The creator was a Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Proof of Proposition 3:
Proposition 7. The creator made us for his pleasure.
Proposition 8. There is no pleasure to be drawn from us if we do not have free will.
Conclusion 12. We have free will.
Proposition 9. If the universe was predetermined, then we would not have free will.
Conclusion 13. The universe is not predetermined.
Proposition 10. The creator set up the initial conditions of the universe.
Conclusion 14. By C13 and P11, there is uncertainty in the unfolding of the universe.
Conclusion 15. As uncertainty on top of uncertainty brings even more uncertainty, as time passes, the level of uncertainty increases.
Conclusion 16. Proposition 3 is true.
Ramen.