Dear National Science Foundation, I was happy to read that you’ve launched a new transformative R01 program to support “exceptionally innovative, original or unconventional” investigator-initiated research. It’s about time! I’m here in the lab in my parents’ basement and look forward to hearing back from you or the President or Congress on these proposals that clearly merit funding. 1. “Finding a cure for the ice cream headache.” In our lifetime we can beat this debilitating condition. The work is intensive and requires commitment so I’ll ask everyone to wear a brown, pink, and white rubber bracelet while my team and…