By Zach Oberman

Zach Oberman's geek credentials include a degree in electrical engineering from Berkeley and an offhand knowledge that it costs three colorless mana and two white to cast a Serra Angel. His writing has been published on McSweeney's, Yankee Pot Roast, College Humor, Cracked, Crave Online and bulletin boards at both Crossroads Elementary and Lincoln Middle School. More of Zach's humor can be found at www.UnderpantsOnTheOutside.com, if you're into that sort of thing.

THE SCIENCE CHANNEL’S NEW PRIMETIME LINEUP

Boyle’s Law: John Boyle was once a forensic scientist for the Albuquerque police specializing in detecting airborne particles. Then he was framed for a crime he did not commit. Now, stripped of his badge, Boyle uses his unique detective skills to serve up vigilante justice from his very own hot-air balloon! When John Boyle is on the case, the heat is on, and the pressure is rising! (Assuming volume stays relatively constant.) Mondays at 9! Absolute Zeroes: When it comes to a show about nothing, Seinfeld doesn’t hold a candle to Absolute Zeroes. In this groundbreaking reality series, we follow…