From humour

INTRODUCTION TO QUANTUM THERMO-EPISTEMOLOGY

This manuscript describes some of our recent findings in the exciting new field of quantum thermo-epistemology, a branch of implausibility theory dealing with fundamental questions such as: * Why does toast always land butter-side down? * Why do cars break down only when you need to go somewhere in an emergency? * Why do banks only lend money to people who don’t need it? We have found, surprisingly enough, that these vexing questions do in fact have a scientific answer, and have developed the beginnings of a theory, which is briefly described here. – – – Theorem (1). Believing something…

A BRIEF HISTORY OF MY ON-GOING LOVE AFFAIR WITH SCIENCE

May 8th, 1988 I encounter science for the first time during recess. As my friends and I are busy using the magnifying lens that Billy Stewart had gotten for his eighth birthday to burn some sticks, she breaks off from the pack of girls she usually travels around the schoolyard with to tell me that she likes my shoes. I don’t understand how anyone could possibly dislike my shoes as they are brand new and have little zippered compartments where I have carefully secreted away the coins I will later use to buy myself some Gobstoppers, so I’m a little…

INTRODUCING: BABY TALK

Most parents are anxious to know the meaning of the various cries, groans, and sounds their child makes. Recently a Spanish electronic engineer named Pedro Monagas created a battery-powered device called “Why Cry”. This instrument about the size of a calculator is reportedly able to tell a parent whether their baby’s cry is indicating hunger, sleepiness or tiredness. Mr. Monagas states that his “Why Cry” is 98% accurate. Well I, myself, am considered a kind of “tinkerer”. And, as a new parent I often wonder what all the sounds that my baby makes might mean, not just his crying. So,…

THE SCIENCE CREATIVE QUARTERLY: A ONE YEAR RETROSPECTIVE SURVEY THROUGHOUT THE MULTIVERSE

Science Creative Quarterly has now been in existence for one year. For those of you, who like me, are not scientifically minded, that is 365 days! An impressive number indeed. The ancients believed 365 was a perfect number. But the ancients weren’t real bright, so we aren’t going to dwell on such superstitions. After all, what strikes me is not so much the length of time which SCQ has been in existence, but how its existence has altered the fabric of the many different universes in which it exists. The discovery of multiple universes, or simply verses, [1] have challenged…

DESPARATELY SEEKING A MATE FOR GROVER.

Concerned over the failing health of Grover, PBS is in a frantic search for a mate for the rare blue species. Grover is presently in poor health. It is, incidentally, the country’s lone blue Grover held in captivity. The rare animal is caged in a pen inside the muppet animal research center in Alexandria, Va., and has been for the past 36 years since his birth. For reasons shrouded in mystery, Grover has shunned mating since he attained adulthood. PBS sources said muppet personnel are actively considering finding a suitable match for Grover, preferably of a blue category, from the…

PAT THE DEAN.

Here are Robert and Virginia. They are interviewing for faculty positions at a small liberal arts college. YOU can interview for a faculty position at a small liberal arts college, too. Robert can talk with Pat the Dean about research with undergraduates. Now YOU talk with Pat the Dean about research with undergraduates. Virginia can give a research talk about clusters of galaxies. Now YOU give a research talk about clusters of galaxies. Robert can teach a class on stellar structure and interiors. Now YOU teach a class on stellar structure and interiors. Virginia and Robert can go out to…

HOT SCIENCE-Y GUY OF THE MONTH – NUVIA CRISOL GUERRA

Something a little different this time, people. This month’s Hot Science-y Guy of the Month isn’t a guy (as if you need me to tell you that). But she is hot (like en fuego-y and muy caliente hot). And she’s very science-y. So in the words of the beloved rock-icon-named-after-a-comfort food, Meatloaf, two outta three ain’t bad. And when you’re Nuvia Crisol Guerra, that’s the total opposite of bad! Nuvia Crisol Guerra. Okay, that’s just a hot name right there. Nuvia. Nuvia. Like she’s a supermodel or a sports car. I’d never heard of a Nuvia before this Nuvia. I…

THE NUDE MOUSE – A SCIENCE CREATIVE QUARTERLY PIN UP (NO. 1)

(CLICK HERE FOR PIN-UP POSTER – pdf file ~250k) — We suggest photocopying at 129% – LTR to 11×17 — Earlier this week, we had the chance to sit down with a member of a growing army of naked bubble mice. In thousands of biology labs around the globe, these lab mice quietly do their part in the pursuit of science and medicine. Called Nude Mice, these striking creatures are a result of spontaneous inbreeding, natural genetic freak shows if you will. More importantly, they are bereft of both hair and immunity – things that would normally protect them from…

OPEN LETTER TO THE KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD.

I am writing you with much concern after I read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design to be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design. Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that…