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advancedquantumthermodynamics

ADVANCED QUANTUM THERMODYNAMICS (is a subject I know very little about)

This is the title of a new book that collects the various published science humour and creative non-fiction writings of David Ng. See how clever one looks, even whilst “pretend reading” it! Great for the “hipster that doesn’t get science” but who wants to look like the “hipster that gets Advanced Quantum Thermodynamics.” Great also…

FIDELITY

(with thanks to Ariel Gomez) “Justus quidem tu es.” – Gerard Manley Hopkins Minus one gene, cells that swing red or green— fascia or hormone— should groan, cease, dissolve to cell-ghost and bone. When staying true would have meant giving death’s due, instead they became something new. When faithfulness to what we knew about what they need would have meant a fatal bleed, cells knew better, needed less— were simple, simply were, and let themselves have happiness.

THE LOVE SONG OF J. APIS PRUFROCK

Let us go then, you and I, when the fields are spread with neonicoti(noids) like a bee displayed upon a needle. Let us go then, through certain half-deserted rows of corn that rustles, grows from corporate seed catalogs (all for low-end restaurants with soda and hot dogs). Bees that follow with a tedious hum but insidious poison may lead them to an overwhelming population crash. Oh, do not eat high fructose syrup! Let us ban neonics in Europe.   In the fields, the honeybees come and go trying to pollinate the rows.

THE DIABETIC DISASTER

Knock-knock. Knock knock. A pause. Knock-knock… Knockknockknock—KNOCK-KNOCK! Insulina the Insulin Molecule pounded her fist against the door in frustration. She’d tried knocking politely, ringing the doorbell, waiting a minute, and then knocking again with some more doorbell-ringing in between, but the cell simply wasn’t answering. It was unheard of. Cells always responded to hormones, otherwise they wouldn’t know what to do half the time! She looked over her shoulder to see the Glucose molecules snickering at her expense, and tried to regain her composure. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Hello, ma’am? This is Insulin Molecule Three-Four-Six on behalf…

EPISODE 3: PAPERS

EPISODE 1 | 2 | 3 Papers, deadlines, awkward conversations with your professor, and PhD job prospects – we tackle all these issues in our latest episode. But of course, we do it with some humour. Think managing your PhD is hard? Wait till you get into the real world. Be sure to watch this third episode all the way to the end. What are conversations with your prof like? How far will you go to get that lab reagent you desperately need? Share your grad school experience with us on YouTube (www.youtube.com/watchTheLab), Twitter (www.twitter.com/watchTheLab), or Facebook (www.facebook.com/watchTheLab). Cast: Frank…

BUTTERFLIES

for Julie Bianca Dahl Surgeons in an airport bus are lions at a zoo. They laze, dimly happy to see you. Tails barely flickering in the stagnant savannah air, Khaki pants sticking to pleather seat cushions, They look up only when you mention meat. Their forearms are clean, but you can smell the blood, See the line of skin roughened from washing. I tell them that I paint the body parts they move. We speak of organs as objects of art, The pinking liver finding itself alive in a new home, The invigorated pancreas, spurting kidneys—oh, joy of piss! Above…

IS THERE A SANTA?

- FROM THE ARCHIVES – Being a scientific investigation of a cultural conundrum Soon it will be Christmas Eve, and once more children will be divided into distinct factions. Here, Cyr [1] described younger children (<7 years) who believe in Santa Claus, and older children (>12 years) who have ditched this ‘childish’ belief. But he fails, by excluding from his questionnaire, to describe a third group who aren’t really sure – the undecided voters if you like. And as the eldest child, I have spent a large part of my life in this group. Moreover, being scientifically minded even at…

EPISODE 2: UNDERGRADS

Regardless of what you’re studying, if you’ve ever been a TA (teaching assistant), you can relate to this episode. Trying to balance research with his TAing responsibilities, Dave encounters that one student we all love to hate – that’s right, the keener. Meanwhile, Steven tries a different approach when training undergrads. What are some interesting things students have said/done in class? Share your experience with us on YouTube (www.youtube.com/watchTheLab), Twitter (www.twitter.com/watchTheLab), or Facebook (www.facebook.com/watchTheLab). Cast: Frank R. Bailey IV, Daniela Tempesta, Walt Yao, Jonathan Tan, Jasleen Kaur, Dawn Williamson, Dave Walden, Cara Halseth, Diane Nhan, Tanveer Kahlon, Max Clough, and…