By Andrew Thaler

Andrew Thaler is a graduate student studying deep-sea biology. When not in the lab, he spends his time out on the water, usually swearing at his boat while simultaneously sacrificing some important tool to Poseidon in a desperate attempt make the motor start. He is also a recreational beer brewer, and these two hobbies have melded together to create this handy guide for when emergency rations run out. He writes at southernfriedscience.com and can be reached by e-mail at southernfriedscientist@gmail.com.

HOW TO BREW BEER IN A COFFEE MAKER, USING ONLY MATERIALS COMMONLY FOUND ON A MODESTLY SIZED OCEANOGRAPHIC RESEARCH VESSEL

INTRODUCTION Beer brewing is as much an art as a science. Finding the right blend of delicate grains, hops, malt, adding just the right flavoring agents, boiling for exactly enough time to release the tannins, starches, humic acids from you wort, these are all skills that take a lifetime to master. Perfect beer is meticulously planned and carefully crafted. Screw that. You’re six days into a 2 month expedition, and if you were lucky enough to not be on a dry ship, it’s de facto dry by now anyway. You’re eying the ethanol stores, the crew is eying each other,…