Black holes are a captivating subject for any audience. At the Advanced Physics Laboratory’s Black Hole Humor Workshop, you will absorb high level content and assimilate effective strategies for incorporating black hole humor into any social or professional situation. With an effective repertoire of scintillating black hole humor, you will become the gravitational center of any room. Here are just a few examples from our two day workshop: – – – 1) Riddles: How do you flatter a black hole? Tell it that it sucks. What did the macho black hole say to the less macho black hole? “My hole…
The Science Creative Quarterly
By vincelicata
Vince LiCata is a biochemist in the Department of Biological Sciences at the Louisiana State University. His laboratory studies protein structure and function. He owns two Britney Spears CDs, but one of them is an illegal copy given to him by one of his students. He routinely gives out more than 25% A’s in his General Biochemistry and Biophysical Chemistry courses, yet is considered a hard-ass. He is reasonably sure that if Britney Spears got in a fight with Jessica Simpson, that BS would crack JS like a little twig.
A MISPLACED CHAPTER FROM THE BOOK OF GENESIS
And lo, it came to be that God was sitting around in his Lazy-God recliner one quiet millennium, and He sayeth unto His Godlike self: “God is bored and needs some entertainment.” And lo, God created the Earth and all it’s inhabitants without getting up from the Lazy-God chair, even whence God needed the occasional short beer break while working, still He did not leave His chair, but simply reached into His Almighty Demi-God Fridge which He always keepeth beside the Lazy-God chair. Late in the week, as one Godlike afternoon twinkled into evening, God looketh down upon His new…
A BIO-CHRISTMAS CAROL
Characters: Dr. Scrooge Young Scrooge Teen Scrooge Scrooge’s mother Dr. Jacob Marley Graduate Student Bob Cratchett Bob Cratchett’s wife Tiny Tina The Spirit of Christmas Past, a Developmental Biologist The Spirit of Christmas Present, a Biochemist The Spirit of Christmas Future, an Evolutionary Biologist Faculty member #1 Faculty member #2 A boy (14 characters if singly cast. Several parts could be double cast. Scrooge can be either male or female. The Spirits and Faculty Members can also be either gender). – – – – – Scene 1. “Scrooge’s Office” Scrooge and Cratchett are sitting working at their desks. Cratchett is…
LIMERICKS OF EVOLUTION
In thanks for all the submissions recieved for our evolution contest, the SCQ is happy to present a few lines of verse to you. Hopefully, we’ll be able to showcase the best of the submissions shortly, but for now, be cautioned that recitation of the following limericks during courting rituals may actually decrease reproductive fitness. – – – There once was a young man named Darwin Who spent five years tossed to the far wind He wrote a book for his peers After only twenty short years And now he’s as pop as George Carlin. They say we all came…
TO TEACH THE CALCULUS, A PLAY
The recent popularity of math and science based plays and movies, such as “Proof”, “A Beautiful Mind”, and “Copenhagen”, has catalyzed the recovery of lost plays from famous mathematicians and scientists themselves. Below is the complete text of “To Teach the Calculus,” which was recently “recovered” from the notebooks of Max Planck. After winning his Nobel Prize in 1918 for work in radiation physics, Planck explored a variety of other fields. This is his only known foray into the theater. Planck had a reputation as a difficult and demanding teacher among the students at the University of Berlin, and several…