Dr. Evil 1 Mount Lee Lane, Griffith Park Los Angeles, CA 90027 Dear Dr. Evil, I am writing to inform you of the revocation, effective immediately, of your admitting privileges to Los Angeles General Hospital. Before I go on, allow me to stress how much we appreciate your considerable contribution to the hospital’s recent fundraising efforts. I still do not know how you managed to persuade the International Monetary Fund to donate a ‘gazillion’ dollars towards the construction of our new long-term care facility, an act of generosity even more impressive coming so soon after the mysterious destruction of their…
The Science Creative Quarterly
From archive
A BIG HURRAH TO ALL THOSE WHO PARTICIPATED IN THE INAUGURAL FIRST ANNUAL “MOST EXCEPTIONAL ESCAPADES IN SCIENCE” HIGH SCHOOL CONFERENCE
Not just exceptional, but awesome… Thanks go to Phil Hieter, Jane Roskams, Brett Finlay, Jaymie Matthews, Daniel Pauly, David Ng, Joanne Fox, UBC Let’s Talk Science, the many volunteers within the Michael Smith Laboratories, and the 100 or so high school folks who came out for the day. So doing this again… – – –
BLACK HOLES: SHINING SOME LIGHT ON INTO THE DARKNESS
Black holes are an astronomical phenomenon made popular through science fiction based entertainment. Due to its complex nature we often resort to our imagination when deciding upon what they are and what they can do. Instead of jumping into the topic of black holes directly, let’s start with the basics and examine gravity, the fundamental force behind them. The presence of gravity is obviously easy to observe. People knew that apples would fall from trees, catapulted rocks would eventually hit the ground and that something was keeping us relatively tethered to the earth. Sir Isaac Newton was the first person…
BILL HICK, SCIENCE PRICK CRUSHES CONTEST ENTRANTS WITH WICKED IMPUNITY
(In reference to this) Bill Hick, I have a question. What’s up with the Mentos in a Coke bottle thing. Is that like a miracle kind of thing. I swear, when I did it once, I saw the face of jesus in the explosion that followed. cheers, Henry from Alabama Dear Henry from Alabama, What is it with you Bible Belters? Always seeing Jesus in toaster strudels and newspaper kiosks. If I had a nickel for every time one of you southerners tried to stuff the square peg of religion into the round hole of scientific discourse, I’d probably have…
WOMEN HAVE MORE SEX THAN MEN
ABSTRACT: Surveys usually confirm the popular notion that men have more sex than women. This paper proves the opposite, at least if the measure is taken to be the average number of unique partners of the opposite sex over a lifetime. The reason for this is basically that more men are born than women, and both sexes share the same sexual encounters. The paper also includes some speculation about why it should be that so many people believe something that can’t be true. KEYWORDS: Median, Mean, Census – – – 1. BACKGROUND. One June 28, 2007, Fryar, et. al. released…
THE 8 YEAR PLIGHT OF FOREIGN MEDICS IN LIBYA ACCUSED OF INTENTIONALLY INFECTING OVER 400 CHILDREN WITH HIV AND HOW THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY TRIED TO HELP THEM.
On the 24th of July 2007, 5 Bulgarian nurses and 1 Palestinian doctor were released from Libya after having been jailed for more than 8 years [1]. They were accused by the Libyan government of intentionally infecting over 400 children by injecting them with HIV at the state-run Al-Fateh Children’s Hospital in Benghazi, Libya in 1998. The medics claimed their innocence in this matter but some confessed under the extreme pressure by being repeatedly tortured [2]. Through the years, their case was seen by several courts and the medics were subjected to numerous trials in which they were sentenced to…
EXCERPT FROM THE LONELY PLANET’S GUIDE TO THE HUMAN BODY: NERVE CELL CITY
Nerve Cell City Nerve Cell City, affectionately know to residents as NCC, lies along the great Trans-Spinal Highway. As such, it is a crossroads for endless traffic, mainly in the information industry. Many of the city’s inhabitants work in this field, and keep the Highway running smoothly for the benefit of other cities along its path (see Muscleton, page 160, and Retinaville, page 392, for examples). NCC is one of the oldest cities in the Human Body, and can date its earliest records to within a year of the Human Body’s conception. NCC is a very unusual city in this…
LETTER OF REJECTION TO DR. PHIL
Dear Dr. Phil, Thank you for submitting your application for the director’s position at the National Institutes of Health. As the N.I.H. is the principal force guiding America’s efforts in medical research, we have strived to consider every candidate’s application seriously. Our first impression was not a good one. You have a loud and exuberant manner that is an oddity in our network of colleagues, and for the duration of the interview process, you were physically sitting on top of Dr. James Watson (a man considerably smaller than you), oblivious to his muffled and strained murmurs beneath you. We found…
A LETTER FROM MDMA
To: The Brain Uppermost Section, Human Body March 1, 2008 Dear Human Brain, How are you today? Here’s hoping my letter finds you well. I just have to say that you really are a remarkable entity and I admire you greatly. You’re very beautiful with your busy neurons and hard-working glial cells, and all those intricately placed connections… Oh, you’re probably wondering who I am! Please, allow me to introduce myself. My full name is 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine. I know, I know… a bit of a mouthful. But you can call me MDMA for short. I’ll also respond to the name Ecstasy,…