“Crows seem to be able to use causal reasoning to solve a problem, a feat previously undocumented in any other non-human animal, including chimps.” — NewScientist.com News Service, September 17, 2008 I don’t understand what all the fuss is about crows. Sure, they can “fly” and stuff, but come on, they’re birds. So what if some scientists recently discovered that crows used casual reasoning to figure out how to get food from an especially tricky tube? I could do that easily. I don’t find tubes tricky at all. Rain sticks are still something of a puzzle for me, but those…
The Science Creative Quarterly
From humour
EVALUATION OF BOUYANT, DRAG AND STAR WARS FORCES ON ENT DERIVED ENGINEERED DEBRIS JAMS
Originally under: DARTHOLOMEW VADER AND DROGO PROUDFOOT*, Department of philosophical biology, University of Tatooine at Mos Eiseley. * Direct correspondence to University of the South Farthing, Crickhollow, Buckland Middle Earth. (Also available as a pdf) * * * Abstract: We used computer flow models and high definition vertical and horizontal GPS to measure the stability of engineered Ent debris jams in deciduous forest streams. We tested the effect of in-situ buoyant, drag and Star Wars forces on the stability of Ent-derived jams. These results were compared to equivalent forces applied to debris jams made from simple large woody debris and…
AN INTELLIGENT DESIGNER ON THE COW
Today, I feel like doing a plant – no, an animal. Yes, today, I am going to make an animal. And it will be a masterpiece. I shall call it the…. No wait! Maybe I should think of the name later. Yes, you should always name your pieces after you have completed them. Better that way. OK then. An animal it is. More specifically, a vertebrate. Large body, four legs, one tail, one head, usual stuff on the head – i.e., let’s just follow the standard animalia rubric. Nothing exciting there. Not yet anyway. So let’s give it an armored…
SHAFTED AGAIN BY NOBEL
– FROM THE ARCHIVE – (It’s Nobel season! Please enjoy a few from our archive on this topic) I didn’t win the Nobel Prize in Physics again this year. What’s a guy got to do to win that thing? I was made to win that prize, but for like the umpteenth time in a row I’ve been given the shaft. Annoying! Who cares if I’m not a physixcist or however you spell it? I’ve been doing lots of cool physics-type stuff forever and deserve some recognition and money. Since a teenager I’ve done this kick-ass trick where I put a…
A SCIENTIST’S GUIDE TO VOTING IN THE CANADIAN FEDERAL ELECTION (IN FLOWCHART FORM) – A SCIENCE CREATIVE QUARTERLY PIN UP (NO. 4)
(CLICK HERE FOR PIN-UP POSTER – pdf file ~177k) – We suggest photocopying at 129% – LTR to 11×17 – With the Federal Canadian Election is coming up fast! (October 14th), I thought it would be handy to provide a flowchart pin-up detailing the choices you can make based on: i. Wavelength of the Party’s colour. ii. Albedo of the party leaders’ hair colour. iii. Environmental platform. For a good overview of the policies that each political party favours, go read this. *Note that the Parti Quebecois is not included in this graphic as I was unable to find out…
SOME GRANT PROPOSALS FOR NEW SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH
Dear National Science Foundation, I was happy to read that you’ve launched a new transformative R01 program to support “exceptionally innovative, original or unconventional” investigator-initiated research. It’s about time! I’m here in the lab in my parents’ basement and look forward to hearing back from you or the President or Congress on these proposals that clearly merit funding. 1. “Finding a cure for the ice cream headache.” In our lifetime we can beat this debilitating condition. The work is intensive and requires commitment so I’ll ask everyone to wear a brown, pink, and white rubber bracelet while my team and…
ANGRY WORDS FROM A GNOME WHO TO THIS DAY CONTINUES TO THINK THE HUMAN GENOME PROJECT WAS ACTUALLY THE HUMAN GNOME PROJECT
It’s hard to believe that 17 years ago the Human Gnome Project formally began. It was quite frankly a great day for all of us gnomes as we thought we had finally gained the attention and respect we deserved as a community. But 17 years later, we as a community are disappointed, angry, full of resentment, and still addicted to nicotine. To our knowledge, of the roughly $3 billion worth of research funds given to the human gnome initiative, none of it ever actually went to fund “gnome” research. Instead, a sizable portion went to human research, and in an…
SOME NEW THINGS YOU CAN POTENTIALLY DO ON MARS NOW THAT WE KNOW ABOUT THE WATER SITUATION
Figure skating Margarita party. Canoe trip. Invest in waterfront property. Baptisms. Preparing juice from concentrate. Hot tubbing!
HUMAN GENE COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH CANCER OR DROID FROM STAR WARS?
1. p21RAS 2. C-3PO 3. CD45 4. p53 5. C-SRC 6. RIC-920 7. FOS-JUN 8. R2-D2 9. 8D8 10. C-MYC 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 10 are oncogenes: 2, 6, 8, 9 are droids from Star Wars.