1. Tardigrades feed on plants and bacteria. Fact. The majority of tardigrades subsist on plant matter and bacteria, although some species will occasionally eat entire organisms, such as rotifers. 2. Tardigrades are cute. Fiction. Tardigrades are not cute; they’re short and overweight, with poorly articulated limbs and claws on their feet. Their bodies are covered in cuticles of proteins, chitin and lipids (gross), and the males only have one gonad. 3. Tardigrades can survive extreme conditions that would kill any other animal known to man. Fact. Tardigrades are able to withstand 5,000 gamma rays of radiation, temperatures from 304 °F…

1. Introduction: Perhaps one of the most profound problems of philosophy is the age-old question of why we exist- here, on Earth, in the short time period which has been allotted to humankind. It probably concerned our prehistoric ancestors: we know it has occupied philosophers from at least the time of Aristotle to the present. Although many answers have been proposed, they seem little closer to a universally accepted truth than are the musings of the average person who gazes awestruck at the night sky. It now seems possible that a combination of the Gaia hypothesis (possibly as the “Intelligent…

We can safely proclaim that, in the twenty-first century kitchen, ”molecular gastronomy” is passé. Ever since Barbara Lynch unveiled a neutrino-infused chocolate ganache earlier this year, the trend in fine dining has been decidedly subatomic. While we owe a great debt of gratitude to the flour-dusted shoulders upon which we have stood, it behooves us as men and women of food science to not rest on our laurels, however succulent they may be, especially when zested over a summer beet salad. It is with that spirit in mind that we present a brief survey of the latest findings in the…

Alright everyone, you know it’s high time for some major spin control. We may have managed to plug that baby up, but now we’ve got to fight that public relations fight. Ha ha – who would have thought that 4.9 million barrels of crude oil spilling out would piss so many people off? But seriously, the bad press is still everywhere, and we are, quite frankly, getting hammered out there. So what can we do about this? How exactly can we turn this PR nightmare into a PR fairytale? Well, we in the spin department think that we’ve got an…

“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not ‘Eureka! but ‘That’s funny!’” -Isaac Asimov – – – Science’s best prank call In 1875 after years laboring to create the first working telephone, Alexander Graham Bell successfully called Thomas Watson. Watson picked up the receiver and heard Bell ask, “Watson, is your icebox running?” Watson looked at the phone perplexed and then muttered, “Let me check.” Bell hung up and fell onto his bunkbed in a giggle fit. The pre-teen girls at his slumber party were impressed with Bell’s ability to disguise…

A particularly tricky wrestling move. The long anticipated installment of a popular Japanese police TV serial. An unfortunate typo for an especially niched Japanese pop music chart. An ointment used to treat especially aggressive forms of Nagoya. The first line of a haiku that was awarded the distinction of being “most boring.” Next year’s popular International CATS ON PROZAC seminar. A droid that is seen for only 2 seconds during the Return of the Jedi. Worst ever celebrity child name. * * * (Curious folks can read this if they’d like to find out more. Folks on twitter may add…

I’ll begin by apologizing to the media reporters who rushed here thinking they were covering a car accident involving an elderly pedestrian, two kittens, and a baby. To my chagrin, I did not receive any RSVPs to “Shock Rock Talk 2010.” How was I going to know how much sheet cake to order? It’s in the back and it’s chocolate ice cream and it’s delicious. But I’m sidestepping the main event. We must celebrate the once missing link between the zircon rocks of the Archaean era and the pet rocks that roam children’s bedrooms and eBay this very day. Understand…

Advanced publicity for The World is Round: A Year of Living Off the Land and Off the Grid, by M. Chowdhury The heroic and humorous account of one Bengali family’s year long attempt to go without the fruits of the world economy. After stumbling across a LiveEarth brochure at a local recycled-goods pile, the Chowdhury family decide to take a principled stand against the worst excesses of global capitalism – environmental degradation, human rights abuses, unfair trade practices – and devote one year to simplifying their lives and lessening their contribution to these problems. Gone are the basic necessities –…