MATHEMATICAL PROOF OF THE FSM
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is frequently represented as FSM.
Existence is the opposite of nonexistence, or therefore not Null.
Null is frequently represented as 0.
We will use <> to show nonequivalence.
Therefore to prove that the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists, we must prove that:
FSM <> 0
In physics, Force is equal to Mass time acceleration, or F = MA. Bobby Henderson is a physics graduate, so we can substitute this into the above equation, giving us:
(MA)SM <> 0
MASM <> 0
MASM is the Microsoft Assembler, which most definitely exists, therefore MASM <> 0. Microsoft is one of the most successful businesses in history, undoubtedly as a result of their secret ties to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Einstein’s equation of E = MC2 can also be substituted into the above equation.
M = E/C2 = E/(CC)
FS(E/CC) <> 0
FSE/CC <> 0
It’s obvious that both the FCC and SEC exist, just ask Howard Stern and Martha Stewart – government agencies that seek to control things, much like the noodly master. What most people don’t know is that FSE/CC is Federation of Swaziland Employers and Chamber of Commerce. The king of Swaziland recently picked a new wife by having 30,000 women walk topless in front of him. This is obviously because he is a devout follow of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and knowing about the stripper factory in heaven, wanted to create heaven on earth.
Thus, since we have shown that MASM, FCC, SEC, and FSE/CC all exist, we have proven that FSM <> 0 and the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists.