From bastard technology

MY MASSIVE ROBOTIC NASA ARM

- FROM THE ARCHIVES – 1 Went to the mall today. Bought some boxer briefs and an Icee. Stopped into the arcade and lost to some punk kid at Street Fighter II. It’s hard for me to push the buttons at the right time. Shuttle Remote Manipulator Prostheses (SRMP) destroyed Street Fighter machine. 2 Saw a friend’s band play, alone. I wish someone else would have come with me. People don’t always want to talk to the guy with nine hundred pounds of space steel strapped to his body. Broke the arm of the lead singer when I gave him…

HOW TO BREW BEER IN A COFFEE MAKER, USING ONLY MATERIALS COMMONLY FOUND ON A MODESTLY SIZED OCEANOGRAPHIC RESEARCH VESSEL

INTRODUCTION Beer brewing is as much an art as a science. Finding the right blend of delicate grains, hops, malt, adding just the right flavoring agents, boiling for exactly enough time to release the tannins, starches, humic acids from you wort, these are all skills that take a lifetime to master. Perfect beer is meticulously planned and carefully crafted. Screw that. You’re six days into a 2 month expedition, and if you were lucky enough to not be on a dry ship, it’s de facto dry by now anyway. You’re eying the ethanol stores, the crew is eying each other,…

SCIENCE IS EVERYWHERE

I’m no expert, but even I can see that from the moment you get up in the morning until the moment you nod off to sleep at night, science plays a huge part in your daily life. What’s the first thing that happens to you every day? You’re jolted awake by the alarm on your clock radio, right? The digital display, the jarring _buzz_…that’s science. Even if you’ve set the controls so that you’re woken up by a soothing song on the radio, how do you think that song reaches you? Through radio waves (discovered by scientists) transmitted from broadcast…

MEMORANDUM FROM THE INTELLIGENT DESIGN BIOTECH CORPORATION

Mission Statement, 2007 “At Intelligent Design Biotech Corporation, we work around his watchmaker’s clock to pursue biotech solutions to those improbable imperfections of his work here on earth.” – – – Okay all IDBC Employees: Let’s go let’s go let’s go. IDBC is finally on its legs. We’re trained, we’re hyped, we’ve got that sharp-eyed Focus on the Family Approved ID curriculum. We’re big time primed to speak for and as God. So let’s make it happen, show those soon Left Behind what education is all about. God up people, let’s go, God up. As you know, we’ve got work…

THE ELDERSBY MODEL: A SUCCESSFUL GRAND UNIFICATION THEORY

Last last Tuesday, a successful Grand Unification Theory (GUT) was accidentally found by a Mrs Eldersby of 29 Pennyfarthing Lane, London. Despite her having no formal training in any science discipline, and the fact that the solution was arrived upon by a series of highly unscientific events, the Eldersby Model – as it is being called – has attracted much media and academic attention. In what experts claim is the first ever Proof by Accident, Eldersby laid down the basic Mathematical principles of what appears to be a successful unified field theory while attempting to medicate her cat and bake…

PRODUCT MANUAL OF THE FUTURE: THE DEATH RAY

Congratulations on your purchase of a genuine ZapCo D-99 Death Ray. Please read these instructions thoroughly and carefully before handling, operating, or servicing your death ray. Careless or incorrect use of a death ray could result in serious injury. Message from the President Hello, fellow death ray enthusiast. You’ve made the right choice with the D-99, the modern standard in small arms particle beam weaponry. The D-99 is ideal for hunting, home defense, sport shooting, and even frontline combat. Indeed, the D-99 has seen service in every major military action of the past 25 years, from Gulf War IV to…

MY MASSIVE ROBOTIC NASA ARM

- FROM THE ARCHIVES – 1 Went to the mall today. Bought some boxer briefs and an Icee. Stopped into the arcade and lost to some punk kid at Street Fighter II. It’s hard for me to push the buttons at the right time. Shuttle Remote Manipulator Prostheses (SRMP) destroyed Street Fighter machine. 2 Saw a friend’s band play, alone. I wish someone else would have come with me. People don’t always want to talk to the guy with nine hundred pounds of space steel strapped to his body. Broke the arm of the lead singer when I gave him…

D.I.Y. P.C.R. NOTES, APPENDUM, SHOOTING THE BREEZE – WHATEVER

(This post will be updated from time to time, as improvements arise with regards to the MAKE magazine thermal cycler project. For more info, go here) – – – Date: August 25th We repeated the experiment with the 2C adjustment, but obtained similarily non-optimal data as before. This led to recalibrating of our temperture sensor at 0C and monitoring to see if the temperture cycles waiver at the latter cycles (i.e after the first 10 cycles), which was not the case. At that point, we decided to calibrate our temperature sensor in real time with the eppendorf cycler to see…