(Evidence for FSM) There is irrevocable proof that the flying spaghetti monster created the world. Some people point to selective fossil evidence and then use fuzzy interpolation to explain gaps in the fossil record, some use fictitious supreme beings, and others claim some intelligent designer had created everything. I have factual proof that on every continent all that was created was touched by his noodly appendage. Others point to esoteric folklore to explain “their god” but the FSM has touched every continent and every culture leaving its mark with its noodly appendage. To clarify this overwhelming preponderance of evidence I…
The Science Creative Quarterly
From April, 2006
THE EARTH, INC.
(Evidence for FSM) I just celebrated my one year anniversary with my current employer. Actually, I completely forgot, but they did not. I received a very nice, but God awful useless, sterling silver key chain with the company logo. It’s nice to be appreciated. It also got me thinking. If everything on earth is God’s handiwork, then he really is the worst kind of micromanager. I don’t want to believe that. Let’s assume that God exists. Can’t prove it. Can’t disprove it. Doesn’t hurt to think that there is an all powerful deity with a corner office somewhere out there…
MATHEMATICAL PROOF OF THE FSM
(Evidence for FSM) Given: The Flying Spaghetti Monster is frequently represented as FSM. Existence is the opposite of nonexistence, or therefore not Null. Null is frequently represented as 0. We will use to show nonequivalence. Therefore to prove that the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists, we must prove that: FSM 0 In physics, Force is equal to Mass time acceleration, or F = MA. Bobby Henderson is a physics graduate, so we can substitute this into the above equation, giving us: (MA)SM 0 MASM 0 MASM is the Microsoft Assembler, which most definitely exists, therefore MASM 0. Microsoft is one of…
THINKING ABOUT A BOOK NOW
In case you missed it, yesterday was our one year birthday and as such our thoughts are now more seriously directed towards our print edition. Here is what we are thinking: We don’t want to actually make money out of this, because when you do, things get significantly more complicated. They become high maintenance so to speak – with taxation, copyright and distribution logistics to worry about. Although some view us as a literary endeavour, we are in truth a covert educational project designed primarily to get non-scientists to immerse themselves a little more into this science thing. This, we…
THE SCIENCE CREATIVE QUARTERLY: A ONE YEAR RETROSPECTIVE SURVEY THROUGHOUT THE MULTIVERSE
Science Creative Quarterly has now been in existence for one year. For those of you, who like me, are not scientifically minded, that is 365 days! An impressive number indeed. The ancients believed 365 was a perfect number. But the ancients weren’t real bright, so we aren’t going to dwell on such superstitions. After all, what strikes me is not so much the length of time which SCQ has been in existence, but how its existence has altered the fabric of the many different universes in which it exists. The discovery of multiple universes, or simply verses, [1] have challenged…
TERRY SPEAKERS: THE SUMMARIES
This year’s Terry speaker series was great, and now the SCQ is pleased to announce that summaries are available for all three (as well as the audio of the entire speech). Follow the links, and seriously people – be inspired. Summaries by Peter Ottis from News 101, CITR 101.9FM – – – “The End of Education” by Dr. David Orr (January 13th, 2006) LINK TO SPEECH | SUMMARY Dr. David W. Orr is Professor and Chair of Environmental Studies at Oberlin College. He is best known for his recent work in ecological design including his efforts to build a $7.2…
DESPARATELY SEEKING A MATE FOR GROVER.
Concerned over the failing health of Grover, PBS is in a frantic search for a mate for the rare blue species. Grover is presently in poor health. It is, incidentally, the country’s lone blue Grover held in captivity. The rare animal is caged in a pen inside the muppet animal research center in Alexandria, Va., and has been for the past 36 years since his birth. For reasons shrouded in mystery, Grover has shunned mating since he attained adulthood. PBS sources said muppet personnel are actively considering finding a suitable match for Grover, preferably of a blue category, from the…
PAT THE DEAN.
Here are Robert and Virginia. They are interviewing for faculty positions at a small liberal arts college. YOU can interview for a faculty position at a small liberal arts college, too. Robert can talk with Pat the Dean about research with undergraduates. Now YOU talk with Pat the Dean about research with undergraduates. Virginia can give a research talk about clusters of galaxies. Now YOU give a research talk about clusters of galaxies. Robert can teach a class on stellar structure and interiors. Now YOU teach a class on stellar structure and interiors. Virginia and Robert can go out to…
A COLLECTION OF ‘OVERHEARDS’ FROM THE PAST YEAR
“I really want to actually see the gun that’s been supposedly aimed at my head for four years.” Jack Campbell, CEO of DVForge, who organized a contest to design a Mac Virus for his company’s computers, then cancelled it after realizing it might actually invite trouble. – – – “If some people decide that they want blind children and white rice, it’s their choice. I’m offering the possibility of yellow rice and no blind children. But the decision what people want to eat is theirs.” Ingo Potrykus, the creator of controversial GM “golden rice”, in 2001. He launched the 2nd…