By Lena Webb

Lena is a 4th year graduate student at Brandeis University where she repeatedly asks fruit fly maggots whether it is, in fact, getting hot in here. They have yet to disrobe, but she's waiting.

GLYCEROL STOCKS: THE FUTURE IS NOW

Cryonics, the technique of freezing dead rich people and their pets, is generally disregarded as a big lame waste of money by most scientists and doctors. The goal of cryonics is to preserve all cells in the body well enough such that in the distant future, after scientists have figured out how to successfully “thaw” these high-stakes ice cubes, doctors [robots? Femto-sized germ soldiers?] could take a stab at curing your previously lethal disease. Then you would be free to marvel at the brushed stainless steel landscape, the crushing loneliness, and how everyone has a cell phone in their brain…