From humour

LIKE, “-OMIC” GOD!

Let us marvel at the proliferation of the term “ome”. First off – let’s define the term “-ome”. As near as I can tell, it means “whole” or “mass”. “-ome” takes into account the totality of a thing – it defines a field. Hence the “genome” is the sum of all genetic stuff and the first “-ome” I remember encountering – “biome” – is the complete collection of living and non-living components within a defined region. In addition, my thesis (as far as I understand it) deals in the realm of pharmacogenomics, a term that I think captures the striking…

THE ETHICS OF CLONING: A DEBATE BETWEEN ME AND MY TWIN BROTHER

Participants Me: Against Cloning My Younger Twin Brother: For Cloning The Moderator Introduction MODERATOR: Tonight’s debate is on a topic meriting serious discussion: the ethics of cloning. Our participants are two outspoken proponents of opposing positions. Because it is a question for all of society, we have decided to include all and not simply the ‘academic elite.’ Justin, you are going to argue that Cloning should be abandoned in any civil society? ME: That’s correct. MODERATOR: And your brother is going to argue that cloning is a scientific option worth exploring? MY TWIN BROTHER: That’s Correct. MODERATOR: And just to…

HAPPY NEW YEAR: OUR SECOND EVALUATION REPORT

The SCQ is back from the holidays, and first wants to wish you prosperous New Year. Tomorrow, we will release details of a new contest. But for today, we present our second evaluation report*, as assessed by using Google ranking techniques. As of 12AM P.S.T. January 3rd, 2006, all aforementioned phrases resulted in a number one rank. – – – – – (Good) “bestest most kick ass” “My t-shirt sales will be phenomenal” “an awesome force to be reckon with” (Not so good) “horribly, wretchedly, and obviously stinky” “Pffffsssstttt” “the unicorn will gore you, the leprechaun will steal your soul…

A GAME THEORETIC APPROACH TO THE TOILET SEAT PROBLEM

The toilet seat problem has been the subject of much controversey. In this paper we consider a simplified model of the toilet seat problem. We shall show that for this model there is an inherent conflict of interest which can be resolved by a equity solution. Consider a bathroom with one omnipurpose toilet (also known as a WC) which is used for two toilet operations which we shall designate as #1 and #2. The toilet has an attachment which we shall refer to as the seat (but see remark 1 below) which may be in either of two positions which…

LEARNING BY PURE OBSERVATION.

Simply observing a person in the act of learning to move in a new environment is enough to help you unconsciously learn those movements, says new research by Canadian scientists. More specifically, Andrew Mattar and Paul Gribble, from the University of Western Ontario (UWO), recently found that individuals who watched a video of a person learning to move a robotic arm, performed this same task better than those who didn’t observe the learning process. This may not come as a surprise to anyone who has learned by watching a professional athlete or expert craftsman. However, what is unexpected is that…

IS THERE A SANTA?

Being a scientific investigation of a cultural conundrum Soon it will be Christmas Eve, and once more children will be divided into distinct factions. Here, Cyr [1] described younger children (<7 years) who believe in Santa Claus, and older children (>12 years) who have ditched this ‘childish’ belief. But he fails, by excluding from his questionnaire, to describe a third group who aren’t really sure – the undecided voters if you like. And as the eldest child, I have spent a large part of my life in this group. Moreover, being scientifically minded even at the age 7, I of…

A BIO-CHRISTMAS CAROL

Characters: Dr. Scrooge Young Scrooge Teen Scrooge Scrooge’s mother Dr. Jacob Marley Graduate Student Bob Cratchett Bob Cratchett’s wife Tiny Tina The Spirit of Christmas Past, a Developmental Biologist The Spirit of Christmas Present, a Biochemist The Spirit of Christmas Future, an Evolutionary Biologist Faculty member #1 Faculty member #2 A boy (14 characters if singly cast. Several parts could be double cast. Scrooge can be either male or female. The Spirits and Faculty Members can also be either gender). – – – – – Scene 1. “Scrooge’s Office” Scrooge and Cratchett are sitting working at their desks. Cratchett is…

PHYSICS ENVY AMONG BIOLOGISTS: FACT OR FICTION?

Physicists often state their belief that all biologists would rather be physicists, but became biologists only because they were not very good at math. As evidence for this, they point to such findings as the fact that the vast majority of published studies in virology, cell biology, endocrinology, and even microbiology, use few if any partial differential equations or elements of number theory, and only one paper written by a biologist in the past 25 years (in the field of neurophysiology) has ever used tensor calculus. On the surface, this would seem to be a damning indictment of biology. Why,…