For Immediate Release North Pole – December 12, 2011 – Against advice from Mrs. Claus and 62% of the elves, Santa Claus today excoriated what he called the irresponsible and inflammatory rhetoric of overeducated physicists with nothing better to do than employ fancy mathematical equations in an effort to deny children a sense of wonder. I am beside myself, Santa said. Literally, I’m standing next to myself. How can the supposed brilliant and creative minds at Fermilab not only question my existence but proclaim it impossible? Here’s their proof: Theorem: Santa does not exist. Assume: a) Using simple math and…
The Science Creative Quarterly
By murraybrozinsky
Murray works to bring technology to reality and writes to bring science to fiction. His writing has appeared in numerous journals, including: 3711 Atlantic, Ascent Aspirations, Brink, Business 2.0, Danse Macabre, decomP, Defenestration, Duck & Herring Pocket Field Guides, Laughter Loaf, Opium Magazine, Peeks & Valleys, Prose Toad, Rumble, Science Creative Quarterly, Shine Journal, The Big Jewel, Wired Magazine, Word Riot,Yankee Pot Roast, and other wonderfully recondite literary magazines. Murray has undergraduate and graduate degrees in philosophy, economics, and engineering from the University of Pennsylvania and Northwestern University.
DESCENT OF DOG
Samson shivered in the early morning chill, jingling the chain joining his collar and leash. The sun was a big orange food bowl hanging low on the horizon, bathing the neighborhood in its warm glow. Most of the residents were still in bed at this hour, but a few dotted the sidewalks with their best friends in tow. Samson led his best friend a few blocks to the park. It was the first Sunday of the month, which meant Pug Day. Many breeds of dogs came to the park, but the overwhelming majority today would be Pugs, the flat, wrinkled-face…
BETWEEN A ROCK AND HARD PLACE
PLUTO: What do you mean you’re revoking my planetary status? BIG ROCK: Sorry, but effective immediately you’re a dwarf planet. DWARF PLANET FORMERLY KNOWN AS PLUTO: A dwarf planet? What the heck is that? BIG ROCK: No need for foul language. Dwarf planet’s a euphemism; it’s a nice way of saying Ice Ball. DWARF: Who the hell are you to decide I’m not a planet? BIG ROCK: I didn’t. I’m just delivering a message as Speaker of the House of Heavenly Bodies. DWARF: Never heard of it. I don’t have to take this crap. BIG ROCK: Take it you will,…
DESCENT OF DOG
Samson shivered in the early morning chill, jingling the chain joining his collar and leash. The sun was a big orange food bowl hanging low on the horizon, bathing the neighborhood in its warm glow. Most of the residents were still in bed at this hour, but a few dotted the sidewalks with their best friends in tow. Samson led his best friend a few blocks to the park. It was the first Sunday of the month, which meant Pug Day. Many breeds of dogs came to the park, but the overwhelming majority today would be Pugs, the flat, wrinkled-face…
EVOLUTION MAY PROCEED LARGELY THROUGH MERGER AND ACQUISITION
Introduction In his seminal book, The Origin of Species, Charles Darwin proposed the theory of descent with modification by means of natural selection, a postulate he supported with considerable evidence from myriad observations and exhaustive experimentation. Darwin’s powerful insights can be summarized as follows: Offspring vary from their parents. Some of the variances are heritable. Only a fraction of the total offspring of any organism survives to themselves reproduce. Those heritable variances that are advantageous to an organism are “selected for” by the environment and those that are disadvantageous are “deleted” by the environment. This differential survival is known as…