Are you: an out of work writer, a devoted YouTube commenter, laboring over a screenplay? Are your Instagram captions two paragraphs long? Do you have a mommy blog? A major cable network (Spike TV) is casting talent for Written Off — A reality show, focused on writing, hosted and judged by supermodel Kate Upton and spiritual self-pleasurer and author of more than 30 books (all pretty much on the same topic) Paulo Coelho. Each episode requires writers to showcase their mastery of the English language with challenges such as: penning e-cards (conveying emotions people are too lazy to put into…