SETTING: A neighbourhood street, two people and a tree. Blaire: Hey Danny, it’s a beautiful day today. Danny: It sure is! Look at that weak sickly tree over there. Cornelius Oak: It’s not my fault! Blaire and Danny are startled. It’s the human’s fault that I look like this. Blaire: Who was that? Danny: It sounds like it came from over there. Blaire: But all I see is a tree! Cornelius Oak: It’s me, Cornelius Oak. Blaire: The tree’s talking Danny! Cornelius Oak: Yes, I am. You humans are polluting my environment and chopping us trees down for wood and…
The Science Creative Quarterly
From archive
HEY CARL!
SETTING: Carl’s house. Joe: Hey Carl! What’s up? Carl: Just sitting and throwing away recyclables… It’s really fun Carl is throwing stuff. Mariah: Why are you just throwing away recyclables for fun? Carl: ‘Cause it’s fun! Joe: Recyclables are called recyclables because they’re supposed to be recyclable in the recyclable bin, which is why they’re called recyclables! Carl: Whatever. Continues throwing recyclables. Mariah: Catches recyclable in midair and throws it into the recycling bin. SEE?!? All you have to do is throw! … Not walk to the other of the room for every bottle you drink. Carl: Yeah, you guys…
GO SEE A MOVIE
Three teenagers are hanging out, when Joe drops his cigarette butt on the ground. Zoey gets mad at Joe for polluting the environment. Zoey: Hey! Joe… Joe, you just accidentally dropped your cigarette butt on the ground. Joe rolls his eyes. Joe: That wasn’t an accident. Zoey gets VERY mad. Zoey THERE IS AN ASH TRAY RIGHT THERE!! Micky, tell him he is littering! Micky: Guys, just chill! It’s not a big deal. Joe: Yeah Zoey, just chill. Zoey grabs the cigarette from Joe and throws it in the ash tray. Joe: Hey! That was mine. Just because I hate…
CHRISTINA AND HER AEROSOL CAN
Christina wakes up with a huge smile. Christina: Yay! It’s finally summer! Wind comes and Christina shivers. Christina: Oh my gosh, it’s freezing cold today! I guess it’s time to bring out the aerosol cans! Christina brings out the aerosol cans and walks outside and starts to spray the cans while humming the “song.” Elif the butterfly flies towards Christina. Elif the butterfly: Cough, cough! Christina, you’re polluting the air! Spraying aerosol cans in the air is not going to heat up the Earth! Cough! Mark carrying a lunch bag walks gingerly towards Christina and stares blankly at the aerosol…
THE PROBLEM OF PRIOR KNOWLEDGE
—And today we are pleased to welcome the notorious “atheist creationist.” Thank you for joining us, Dr. Kranish. —Your sobriquet is only half right, but I accept it. It got me on your show. I’m making a fortune. —Why, Dr. Kranish, you sound positively cynical. “When you’re dead, you’re dead,” declares Stanley Kranish, disgraced engineering professor and charcoal chef extraordinaire. His son David watches dutifully. Wielding his long spatula like a baton, Kranish slices through the heat ripples over two hissing steaks and one mute veggie burger, and prepares to utter his key insight. “Like a rock,” he and David…
HELA VS JLO: THE FINAL SHOWDOWN
(HeLa refers to this, JLo to this) HeLa: Cancer. JLo: Not cancer. Advantage: JLo. HeLa: Supreme longevity. JLo: Not so supreme longevity. Advantage: HeLa. HeLa: Interesting model system. JLo: Interesting model. Advantage: JLo. HeLa: Adherent. JLo: “Clingy” Advantage: HeLa. HeLa: No flim credits to date. JLo: Co-starred in underrated movie with George Clooney. Advantage: JLo. HeLa: $349/vial. JLo: $15 million/film. Advantage: HeLa. HeLa: Doesn’t sing. JLo: Sings (sort of). Advantage: HeLa. HeLa: From Henrietta Lacks (not known by her family until much later). JLo: From the block (still knows where she came from). Advantage: JLo. HeLa: Name sounds kinda like…
MARINE MOLLUSC (A HAIKU ON APLYSIA CALIFORNICA)
Aplysia (snail) bunny of the pacific hydroskeleton – – – (And also to say, that at long last our haiku phylogeny project will be coming to a close – stay tuned this fall…)
A LIST OF PROMISING SALES SLOGANS THAT THE TOY MANUFACTERER, MATTEL, COULD POTENTIALLY USE IF THEY EVER DECIDE TO MASS-PRODUCE AND MARKET A “STEM CELL BARBIE.”
“Hey kids, this Barbie might get pregnant!” “Comes with refrigerated unit to prevent mold.” “Stem Cell Barbie uses only materials from the 60 cell lines approved by George W. Bush himself.” “See Barbie scab!” “Watch her fall in love with Cadaver Ken!” “Have fun with your religious friends – tell them she’s made from embryos!” “A quality product: only 1 in 4 will get cancer.” “Feels like real skin because it is real skin.”
BIOSPHERE REPORT CENTRE
This page is the report centre for three biopsheres set up with a class from Vancouver’s Admiral Seymour Elementary School. This is part of the pilot run for the Science Creative Literacy Symposia. Full details for setting up the biosphere can be found at Martin John Brown’s website (direct link pdf of article published in MAKE magazine found here). – – – DAY 01 NOTES:(From left to right), [1] “Shrimpy’s New Home”; (shrimp names) Flipsy, Zippy; (smail names) Floaty, Gary, Boulder. [2] “Biosphere EJKKPPLF”; (shrimp names) Thumper, Jumper; (snail names) n/a; [3] “Schnomadome”; (shrimp names) John Doe, Boe Doe; (snail…